Category Archives: Shadow Work

Human Malware? The Corrupt Coding In Your Genetics

Please read the first installment of this series here: There Is Malware In Mommy!

WHAT EXACTLY IS

Malware?

*I am not a computer expert, I am taking a very generalized idea and allowing myself to flow through what is presented to me, unencumbered*

…short for Malicious Software, it is software used to disrupt computer operation, gather sensitive information, or gain access to private computer systems. It can appear in the form of code, scripts, active content, and other software. ‘Malware’ is a general term used to refer to a variety of forms of hostile or intrusive software. http://www.internetsecurityzone.com/Glossary/Malware

BUT HOW DOES MALWARE RELATE TO HUMANS?

Since we now have an idea about the logistics behind Malware and how it affects our computers, we can also relate ourselves to these logistics relative to computers through The Principle of Correspondence. To the sleeping Mystic I know it appears that I am comparing apples and oranges. Yet I will say that these manifestations that appear to be different on the outside, are actually from the same core blueprint. Maybe without having such an emotional attachment to our computers as we do to our own physical bodies, we have created a replica of ourselves to study. In a holographic reality, this is entirely probable.

Our bodies and the programs we run are quite similar to the idea of computers. And we have an affect on our computers since we feed them with our energy every single day! I would go so far to say that computers were built upon human technology. And so if Malware exists in computers, I can only surmise that Malware exists in us as well. Only in recognizing this parallel are we able to do anything about it. Otherwise we unconsciously replicate our own patterns, for better or worse.

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“Subconsciously, could humans have created computers to investigate their own defects and evolutionary malfunctions?”

Through “Windows” we have been able to explore so much corruption – virus’, worms, trojans and other Malware, along with the effect it has on us personally and collectively. Did Bill Gates create “Windows” to show us the corruption in our own souls, and to give us a chance to get to know our shadow without being too emotionally attached to what we found? Through “Apple” we have had a much more stable system Steve Jobs will have contributed to the stability of our future through his technology and superior coding. I truly wonder which collective he was channeling, in the cosmic scheme of things. Perhaps we should go back to basics and remember these little catch phrases like: an apple a day keeps the doctor away. It seems that the vibration of “Apple” does not play in the same field as the virus. Just sayin’!

Today I am sitting in front of my laptop looking through a few links and a video catches my eye and eventually pulls me in. I began listening to it while I checked my email. A few minutes later, I hear something that shifted me. I go back and listen to it again. Yes! This is what I was waiting for since writing my last article There Is Malware In Mommy! Confirmation. (At the end of this article I will post a link to this particular video. It is a long video, so I am extracting the small part that struck me so deeply.)
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“Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

Genesis 11:7

Does this bible quote support the theory that humanity was infected with bad coding or Malware, meant to corrupt each other? Is our use of slang and the breakdown in communication a seed that was planted in humanity as far back as Babylon? Is our collective lack of effective communication a root level program that was implanted so long ago?
I Know that we are a micro of the macro. I Know that how I parent came from a whole lineage of parents. I also Know that this lineage of parents mirror how our cosmic parents have parented us, and so on. Perhaps there are slight differences along the way, but the root program will be the same unless you consciously make change through greater awareness and inspired action. Otherwise, we will unconsciously repeat what has been done to us, and perpetuate this test of entrapment. A form of Human Malware corruption may manifest as the inability to accept guidance from our children, as pointed out in the first installment of this “Malware” series. Another form of Malware may mutate in a way that does not allow a parent and child to communicate harmoniously, never quite seeing eye to eye. Over time, as both the parent and child Polarize to opposite spectrums of experience, could this very well contribute to the inner workings of the infamous generation gap we are all familiar with? And once the polarities are well established, what does that mean for the next generation? Or the one after that? I would think that it would open to a wider gamut of experience, allowing a greater and more balanced Truth to be lived, by our future ancestors.

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“Are You Seeing Eye To Eye?”

Generation Gap

a lack of communication between one generation and another, especially between young people and their parents, brought about by differences of tastes, values, outlook, etc.

Microcosmically, we will find this corruption in the actual structure of our very own DNA. Macrocosmically, our awareness resides within the sun and stars. Conceivably this may be our collective moment in Time where we have fallen from Grace; when we began giving our energy to words and ideas devoid of true depth and meaning; the moment we were maneuvered to choose and experience something other than a heart based reality for ourselves. Is this the moment that we became more focused on the outside clamor, rather than on our Divine status as intermediaries between Heaven and Earth? The onus is now on us to become the anti virus and to clean up our own coding when we notice our own discrepancies. If humans are able to do this through air tight ego and fear programming, just imagine what computers are capable of!

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~IG~

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There Is Malware In Mommy!

WHERE DO THESE CRAZY IDEAS COME FROM?

Let me begin with a little story, only it begins in the Here and Now rather than Once Upon a Time…

inspiredchildmalware.jpg“Allow yourself to be Inspired by a Child!”

BEST SNOW DAY EVER
Tuesday January 7, 2014
Whenever I require a boost in my creativity or a shift in my focus, my very own Earth Angel aka Alecksandria is impulsed to serve as my muse. If I am willing to surrender my ego and allow myself to be led by my child, I am always left with some kind of life altering awareness. In this particular circumstance Alecks came to me asking if she could play a free video game online. She padded her request by telling me that it was called “Legend of Angels”, knowing I would resonate with the theme. I felt through her request and something felt off to me. I told her I didn’t really think it was great and it most likely had a virus attached to it. She was clearly disappointed. I went to check it out for myself as I allowed myself to sit with her suggestion a bit longer, and it struck me that it was not necessarily a virus but that it perhaps had Malware of some sort. Now piqued by this new information, Alecks looked at me with her big eyes and innocently asked me, “Mommy, what is Malware?” In this moment, I was able to simplify the idea of Malware down to the idea of computer language. I explained how some programs speak a bit of slang, and maybe have a few ‘bad words’ that it would teach her computer as it communicated with the program. It would likely not be detected until her computer tried to speak to a program that had a cleaner language, and then it may cause lagging or looping to occur as they are not able to connect messages as clearly as they were before Malware was introduced to the system. Mind boggling concepts for an 8 year old no doubt. She was letting this new information sink in, and so was I. Suddenly, I felt my heart begin to glow warmly, and I was inspired to expand further. Now comes the moment for my lesson to be revealed!
For those of you who do not know me personally, I am a freedom loving kind of lady! And very into open and honest self expression. Authenticity is the name of my game! However, in this moment the most Truthful thing I knew I had to do, was to use myself as a perfect example of: Malware!
There have been times that just by the process of association, like anyone else, I have picked up some language that is not necessarily impeccable. I now realize that this has created a huge distortion in my vibration. It may even have been enough to keep me from reaching the heights of my full positive potential. I readily admit that I have also impacted others in perpetuating improper and less than impeccable use of language. Using any kind of slang is an interesting concept. It is alluring mostly because not everyone partakes, and it allows us to feel passionate in new ways. We must remember that here in duality, with good also comes bad. And using lower frequency words definitely gives duality an unspoken stronghold over your life. Giving into this intrigue created a distortion in the expression of my own Truth and this did not allow me to retain the ability to communicate as clearly, or as effectively. It is the higher frequencies we choose to maintain in between the actions we take that allows us to experience more flow and synchronicity in our lives.
As I confessed to my little one that mommy has surely contributed to corrupting her with a form of Malware, and that this was going to change ~ her stance relaxed and in that moment she understood all that I was inspired to convey to her. The Holy Instant. Satisfied with our conversation and releasing all resistance to not getting what she initially wanted, she asked me to help her get ready to go outside and play in the snow. THE END.
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A WITNESS TO MY OWN HEALING PROCESS
I would consider this conversation with Alecks to be somewhat out of the ordinary. I Know her energy and being born on the 11th day of the month, she came to this planet to Serve as a gateway for illumination. Adding to the day of her entry, she was given a name that naturally vibrates to the libraries of Alexandria, Egypt. Her essence oozes with this wisdom, yet a child’s delicate ego is in between. Needless to say, when these moments arise – I am keen to listen. And this is always my clue to really tune in and pay attention. In my own healing processes that I have developed, I Know that when I allow myself to be aware of my own shadow and actually embrace it rather than hide myself from myself, I take a giant leap in the process of my evolution. Through my understanding of Universal Law, I Know that as I remove my own resistance my world will shift to provide me with clues. What was hidden will begin to appear. The onus is on me to notice. When I am aware, I can not only Know better, but I am also able to do better ~ if I am willing to accept ALL of myself! In creating my foundation based on Universal Law, Divine Timing is free to flow in the same stream with man made time, allowing the magic of synchronicity to readily blossom before my very eyes. In this instance, I have consciously become the cause of an uplifted effect that is now activated to reveal itself to me. (Read more about Causation and how to personally develop it in your life!) As I excitedly embrace this new opportunity to witness and co-create my own growth, I immerse myself in a bit of research to open more pathways of awareness based on what I have just been presented with.
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~IG~
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A Now Mythology Of Time

HOW DO YOU MOVE FORWARD AND BACKWARD IN TIME – SIMULTANEOUSLY?

In physical reality it appears that we are moving forward in time. But perhaps where reality is not visible through our physical eyes, it is true that we are moving backwards in time. How do we begin to navigate ourselves through this benevolently? Talk about expanding your brain and the collective consensus of ideals! How do you move forward and backward in time – in the same moment? Most of us have been trained to look at different ways to ‘split time’, and thus ourselves – in order to accomplish this feat. For example, we spend our 9-5 weekday hours working diligently on someone else’s dream of reality and then if we are lucky, at night immerse ourselves in the flow of our own spirituality or any other self discovery process – ultimately we are creating pathways to unconsciously divide ourselves and our experience of the world. We have been shown it is normal to do this from a very young age.

Seeing as there is no wrong, and there is no right at the crux of reality in this Universe, do we really want to open more doors to experience further separation? I feel the answer is more simple and natural than this private divide and conquer we have imposed upon ourselves, and therefore upon others. Rather than play subjective games of ego domination over anything that threatens our flawed illusions within our stagnating comforts, let’s explore how to unify our polarities, consciously using an alchemical process to turn the two extremes into the one common thing. Before moving forward with this article, I implore you to learn more about The Principle of Polarity.

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 Across planes of consciousness, we have to live with the paradox

that opposite things can be simultaneously true.

~Ram Dass~

To answer the initial query, benevolently navigating both forward and backward in the same moment of time, you must be intrinsically immersed in your Now experience. Whenever you enter and focus on your Now moment, you bring the past and the future into a singularity called the Now. You collapse the illusion and merge both realities into your unified experience of Won-ness/Oneness through the portal called Now. Both ideas of past and future extend from our present Now experience, and both also dissolve back into their own inherent Oneness. Our notorious sweet spot has been shrouded by opposing forces, in plain view all along. As the fog clears, it is through this window called the Now that we have Won the game of duality and embark upon our collective new beginning as Unity Conscious Beings (UCB).

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~IG~

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EM~Power~ME

People are just people. They do what they do. You know a person by their Nature or by their vibration (Principle of Vibration), and therefore by their resonance to you. The only reason anyone can ever hurt you is because on some level you gave them the power to do so. Be self responsible, and really go within to find out where you gave your power away and most importantly, ask yourself why you chose this experience. The answers that come to you may surprise you. Opening this door just may allow you to wake up with the clarity you are seeking to make the changes you need to create. Awareness Empowers.

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Your ‘future self’ will thank you for finding the power to make this jump!

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~IG~

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Ego VS Soul No More

IS YOUR EGO FULL OF ITSELF?

What happens to us when we take on too many different roles? I mean, one thing at a time with full focus, we really are capable of anything we choose to do or be. But what happens when we take on too much at once? Worse yet, what happens if we take on too much at once and start identifying with all of these roles and scripts as our True Self? And what happens when these individual worlds collide and we aren’t able to find the common discovery between all of them, yet put ourselves into a box where we have to do just this?

I am not entirely sure why this happens, but I have my speculations. From my own experience, I do understand that the path beyond it is through authenticity. If you are authentic, you will always have a commonality to naturally merge with, within the context of anything you are doing. If you create this reality for yourself, you can always just be YOU. If you are at a point where you want to learn more about becoming your Authentic Self, please read The Journey To Your Authentic Self.

What happens when we have identified with our ego or our persona, over our Authentic Self? How exactly does something like that happen anyway? We have been taught to value the approval of others over honoring ourselves. A preposterous notion for Divinity incarnate. Yet this seems to be a norm. We are taught this in school – it is a common theme in our society. It matters what grades we get, not how we have enjoyed ourselves. It matters how we look, not that we feel good. It matters that we say the ‘right thing’, rather than speak our Truth. We have been taught that the masks we wear are more important than the Soul we share. Our own authentic expression of Self is what we came here for, yet we barely recall a fragmentary shred of Truth when navigating based upon our ego’s will. And then we come upon an old adage that cites – “The Truth Shall Set You Free“. Whoa. Now that is some scary shit, taking the rest of this paragraph into consideration! How do we re-solve this one? As with everything, with a shift in perspective.

THE EGO AND THE SOUL ARE ON THE SAME TEAM

What if we could foster harmony with the Ego and the Soul together? How could we establish this foundation to work with ease, grace and flow? This would indeed be The Ultimate Vesica Piscis!

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Ego + Soul = Authentic Self

If we allowed our Soul to guide the actual direction of our journey, and our ego to make the more specific choices within each given step we take – essentially we would create and perpetuate a life of pure bliss. No hindrances. No dual beliefs to self sabotage oneself with. Everlasting flow. Our Soul guiding us through our blueprint, and our Ego choosing the flavor of our experience. A personalized co-creation bridging Heaven to Earth. Infinity upright. The number 8 in action.

So then, why did we choose to alter the duties of the Ego and the Soul? Why have we added this extra challenge to our already arduous sojourn through Time?  The more pragmatic side of me says: W.I.I.F.M (What’s In It For Me)? I laugh inside a little wondering – what the hell were we thinking!? The Soul sees the big picture while the ego sees the little picture. Seems pretty straight forward. Neither big nor small matters – we always knew that size didn’t matter! It’s how much joy we take from each experience that nourishes us. Joyful alignment. And we have most joy when we are in flow with who we really are. So I ask two more questions:

1. Did your Ego really enjoy looking after the dynamics in the bigger picture?

2. Did your Soul really enjoy looking after the tedious little details?

Ok, I am sneaking a 3. in here. Do you really believe they were built for these tasks?

Neither were created to be used this way, yet instead of stopping and asking questions, we have bulldozed through endless realities to finally prove ourselves ‘right’. Yet we are only beginning to realize that it is only ‘right’, when it’s Right. First we MUST know Self and express ourselves authentically in order to be aligned, and therefore Righteous. If we aren’t doing what we came here to do – we do not Know the essence of happiness to ever be able to achieve real joy. Imagine if your liver started acting like a kidney, and your kidney started acting like your heart, and….I am not sure how long it would be possible to continue to exist under these circumstances! All of these organs, and the cells contained within them, came here for a specific purpose. If your cells begin to do something else other than the original intention, the whole system would eventually collapse on itself rather than expand into its greatest potential. You and I and the system we exist within, are no different. Take a moment to reflect on this now, and in this moment remember: As Within, So Without.

I welcome Love back into my life. Through Love we will recognize the commonality between the Ego and the Soul. Only through Love may the Authentic Self shine through…

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~IG~

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Mother Dearest!

This resonates to the core of me. I wish I had the words to explain this so well myself:

“…she always said that I was the problem and that I did this to her ~ that I tore HER down;

“Darlene, you are so critical.”

“Darlene, I can never do anything right in your eyes, I am always wrong”.

“Darlene, there is no pleasing you.”

And overtime I believed that my words, actions and behavior (although I could not figure out what I was doing that was so offending) had eaten away at her self-confidence and harmed her sense of self-worth and undermined any good feelings that she ever had about herself and her accomplishments. I believed everything she said about me. I believed that I was the critical one and that I was the one doing all the damage.

This is the brainwashing; this is what happened that caused me to try harder with her and to try so hard to ‘understand her.’ I tried to reassure her, to soothe her and to be the daughter she always wanted.

And when I started to look at the way SHE treated me in this profoundly dysfunctional mother daughter relationship we had, I became aware that now I was saying some of the same critical type things about her too.  When I started to look at the truth about how toxic our mother daughter relationship was, I felt guilty because I believed that I was being critical of my mother, and I had tried so hard all my life to prove her wrong about me! In the first couple years of my healing process I kept saying stuff like “well in all fairness to my mother, I was not the perfect daughter because of…. And I would list my faults. Just like I was trained to do; I was trained to look at me, always to look at me and my faults and to take the blame. Looking at my faults is not such a bad thing, but the lack of mutuality in our relationship is a ridiculous thing. This started when I was a kid and I had been convinced mostly through the actions and results of those actions at the hands of the adults in my life, that I was the failure and that if I could be different, THEN I would be loved. There was no accountability on the part of the adults!

Today I refer to that thought process as “the spin”. I would spin around and around in my mind about why my mother was justified in her criticisms and judgments of ME which I somehow believed nullified my judgments of her. I could never validate that something really was wrong with the way she treated me, because I was so convinced that I was at least as much of a problem for her as she was for me. I didn’t see how she was “the parent”, or how she expected me to be more responsible for the success of our relationship than she was. I didn’t look at HOW I learned to have a relationship in the first place. I didn’t realize that my self-esteem was never put in place because my parents didn’t put it in place. I didn’t consider for one minute that the truth was that it had been up to them to give me a healthy emotional foundation in the first place.  I had learned to LOOK at myself in a critical way and to never look at anyone else in a critical way. There is something really warped about that.”

And this is one hits home as well:

“…statements like “Oh you think you are so perfect” or “sorry I’m not perfect” are actually deflections meant to make me believe that the problem was my “unreasonable expectations” of her; I picture my mother as wearing wonder woman type shiny wrist cuffs to deflect the statements I made to her, BACK on to me. She didn’t hear me, she had no intention of listening to me, she just found a way to put the responsibility of our relationship back on me.”

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As long as there is dysfunction that is denied to heal within the relationship (equally on BOTH parts) the cycle will continue because that is all they know. The person who is not willing to heal their own role in the drama is so solid in their old script that they don’t allow for the other to heal their part in the story, and then continue to cry victim to what they created and continue to perpetuate. Vicious cycle. Someone wise once told me, the fish stinks from the head..!

This post was inspired by – Toxic Mother Daughter Relationships when Mom says You are the Problem.

~IG~

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The Child Within

I will begin this post by linking you to my last post, which is the first installment titled “A Tip For Manifesting Benevolently“.

IT IS TIME TO GIVE YOUR CHILD A VOICE

What did you receive when you were a child? We always talk about the wounded ego, but what did you receive that was benevolent as a child? Did you receive Love? Stuff? Freedom? Structure? Education? Everyone received something. If you can’t pinpoint it immediately, bring yourself into the center of your heart. Give yourself a minute or two once you do. When you feel you are in a state of Love, bring the question to your heart and wait for the answer to come to you. This is your gift. It may come to you in the form of a Vision. Through a Voice. A Knowing. A Sense. Or any combination thereof. Once you have an answer – you can repeat the process and see if there are any more gifts – who knows what our beliefs and the stories we have told ourselves have covered up and hidden from our remembrance. Love will always reveal Truth. Maybe acknowledging this – what we perceived as ‘good’, we will soften the negative association to that which made us who we are today – our past. Our past should be our best friend, yet we run around our day to day lives trying to do anything but come face to face with who we once were or what we once did. In essence, we are running from our own selves. We should be celebrating what got us here, all of it – rather than running from the imperfection we judge and ultimately cornering ourselves into it that which we are running from. What if we chose to consciously balance out the story ourselves, in little ways? That’s all it takes!

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If we are so compelled to remember the bad things – why not challenge ourselves to remember one good thing for every one bad thing you perceive(d). This would surely create a balanced playing field at the core of our foundation.

~IG~

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A Tip For Manifesting Benevolently

WE ARE MANIFESTING IN EACH MOMENT. What is it you are manifesting in your life right now?

Are you bitter? Angry? Sad? Scared? Lost? As long as you hold onto it and the story behind it, you will not only live it, but repeat it – perpetually. Is this happening to you? In every moment we are planting our very own seeds of future experience. Shift yourself to experience something new. Re-member – what you resist, persists!

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(Soul)ution:
Let Go. Be Light-er. Re-focus on something that brings you joy and go in that direction.

If you feel you can’t let go of what is negative, you are missing The Gift. You will continually punish yourself by holding onto and repeating that which does not feel good to you. Stay with it until you see the Light. If you require assistance, enlist what resonates in that specific moment.

I will expand upon this idea further in the next installment that is titledThe Child Within.

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~IG~

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Free Exercise ~ Core Lessons

Look over the last year since January 2013, and see if you can find any common themes (common underlying issues – ie –  anger, or self worth, or lack of follow through, etc.) that are playing out repetitively in your life. How are you self sabotaging? And be totally honest with yourself – it’s only You and your ego in this Now moment. Right now, before the end of this year, it is the perfect time to do this exercise so you don’t carry outstanding lessons forward with you, unresolved.

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Without thinking about it too much – off the top of your head, what is the common core issue that emerges in your life since January 2013? Center yourself in your Heart and feel it a bit deeper now. What do you come up with? Between October – December of any given year, the cosmic pressure is on to wrap up any unlearned lessons that have presented themselves to you. It is a keen moment in the yearly cycle (10th, 11th and 12th months) to find and resolve any core issue(s). Those that are required for you to learn to move forward are most definitely rearing their heads by November, an entire month of illumination! Resolving a core issue just may domino and free other smaller issues that seem to cripple us so rapidly, allowing us to get back on track and tuned into our hearts once again. Afterall, this is a large reason why we are so emotional – our perspective does not match our reality and our ego does not know how to let go of its own Mental creation. If we address the core issue, the illusions we created while avoiding the wound, will seemingly disappear.

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Spend some time focused on and in reflection of that main core issue to find resolution without getting distracted by everything else on your proverbial (and not so proverbial) plate. Once you recognize the core issue at hand you can find the emotional trigger, and consequently, the seed experience that created it. Often, if we change our dominant perspective of the moment that the seed was being ‘planted’, we can change the entire experience in our lives Now – even if it is well after the initial occurrence. You just need to know which perspective needs to be changed. This is what I refer to as collapsing timelines. Once you get to the ‘bottom of’ any given thing, everything that took place after this experience will alter within, to provide the appropriate reflection of outer experience in your present reality. But first we must be willing to feel it, in order to recognize it and then heal it, thus achieving a state of transcendence. How many illusions have we created for ourselves by a-voiding feeling the discomfort of the void? This sounds like such an oxymoron to me. What is this secret fear that compels each of us to do such things? Is it a Universal fear of knowing our own pain?

And what if we allowed ourselves to enter the Void, to permeate within the discomfort of not knowing, and chose to live in this garden of realized potentials?

Just who do you think we would become?

I will continue and expand some of these ideas in my next blog post titled ~ Entering The Feminine – New Logos for Personal Alchemy. Please subscribe to my blog so you do not miss the next installment!

If you would like some one on one guidance, please check out my Services and book a session!

~IG~

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Numerology for November 20, 2013

11 20 2013 – such an interesting day for my world to shift so much! I don’t need to necessarily say what it means – you can look at the pattern and see the synchronicity and if you gave yourself a moment to actually tune into it – you would most definitely FEEL the resonance of the movement and in the flow of the energy this day holds. The final opportunity to learn these lessons regarding the Feminine before the end of this year is Now until the end of this month!
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In the midst of the 11/2 (illumination and partnership) and the 13/4(self expression and beliefs or structures), we even have 20/20 vision! The veils between within and without are thin! 20 also represents lessons and also potential regarding the Feminine and partnerships. Pay attention to what rises and to what falls in your world today! What is it you are seeing with your physical eyes? What is your physical world/feedback system telling you today? Did you align correctly? Is it in flow? What is bringing itself to your awareness today? Is it one thing? Or many things? Weed out the Karma and plant the Dharma!!! What is the Law of Reflection telling you today? What do you still need to work on/ And what have you outgrown but still not detached from? Intend to learn outstanding lessons concerning self, partnership and manifestation.

And so it is.

~IG~

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