Tag Archives: Ascension

Herstory

WHAT IS HERSTORY, YOU ASK?

Herstory is a label for the feminine perspective of our collective stories. We have been ingrained with the masculine perspective of reality – polarized so far out of our natural intuitions with subjective dogmas such as good and bad, right and wrong – that we have nearly lost our connection to not only the Divine Mother, but to the Divinity in our own Sacred Right of motherhood. Each mother has been initiated into the mysteries of Life and Death through the state of Love. And it is she that is most apt to accurately recognize and re-birth this story through her very being. What will the feminine energy of The Age of Aquarius hold for humanity? What will be revealed through the rising awareness of Herstory and the archetypes that connect us through Time?

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Herstory can no longer be ignored. Yes, this is that part of the story that we did not learn in school. That part of our story that occurred before the phrase: “Let there be Light” even existed in scripture. Long before the idea of History was even developed. We are going back to before the times of writing and record keeping, when we shared traditions orally, etching the stories deeply into our cellular memory courtesy of the fires we gathered ’round.

We have been taught who the winners of wars are, and the reasons that dictate this as so. We have been influenced by advertising and marketing campaigns, distracting us from just how close we are to reaching our greatest potentials – from within each one of us. Herstory inspires us to go within; to be not only impeccable, but self responsible with what we have created. Where one loses – we have all lost.

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UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL

Not only am I an individual – I am also a link within my family, my community, my city, my country, my continent and any other label or box you can find. I am suggesting that we take our unified thought processes and stretch them across this globe we call Earth. I am ALL of those things – and you are too. We are many things. When you were born you were given your name, which is consequently your tool kit through this experience of Life. To your mother and father you are a daughter or a son, to your siblings you are a sister or a brother, to a teacher you are a student – we are always changing our roles in our moment to moment interactions with others. Each of those are meaningful in a different way – and you are all of them – and more!

We are all nested within a myriad of scripts and roles we have chosen to enact – as it should be for the greatest breadth of experience and potential Mastery in any given incarnation. You are ALL of these and you carry the potential to consciously or unconsciously fill in a gap and act in  anyone’s stories, in any given moment. We truly are dynamic beings. When we realize that we actually exist within many boxes, we may see that we often shift in and out of them so seamlessly that we don’t even realize that we are doing it. This is something we are constantly doing without trying to do anything at all. We call this kind of Knowing “second nature”.

There exists an untold ‘magic’ we all possess that is so inherent that we don’t even recognize it for what it is worth. Magic. We are magical Beings. Shapeshifters extraordinaire. Take a deep breath and let that really sink in. We are magical Be-ings. This is why it is so important to remain authentic within the changing momentum of Time. Otherwise, just what kind of magic are you creating? 

“Shapeshifting requires the ability to transcend your attachments, in particular your ego attachments to identity, and to who you are. If you can get over your attachment to labeling yourself and your cherishing of your identity, you can be virtually anybody. You can slip in and out of different shells, even different animal forms or deity forms.”

Zeena Schreck

There are so many ways I can dream up to benevolently use this tool that we have now identified as shapeshifting. We can use this awareness to achieve greatness! Let’s explore this idea a little bit.

Have you put yourself in the shoes of The Other? Have you put yourself in the position of those that you were taught were the ‘bad guy’? And if you have, are they really that bad? As bad as you have been told, or as bad as you have told yourself? What can you find in common with The Other? Perhaps if we were looking at this particular perspective of Truth, wars would have been bi-passed and a plethora of innocent people would still be alive today. However, we are where we are. Everything is as it is. As it should be. A perfect reflection for where we collectively stand right now. If we ask ourselves these questions and take these leaps of awareness and allow ourselves to shapeshift to even momentarily become The Other, I know we can tell entirely new stories and create benevolent outcomes – together. Could this be what Herstory is all about? New perspectives open new pathways and allow us to live in and experience new paradigms. Why have we not done this before? Universally it seems to be known –  THE TIME IS NOW!

All too often it just hurts too much to become The Other, and we a-void and divide ourselves in order to self preserve our own ego. But self preserving is not the same as Self preserving. In self preserving we tend to judge and use judgment to shift the focus of that pain onto someone or something else. I identify Self preserving as something a bit more refined and rather than the use judgment which opens the door to gossip about others, I would offer that discernment is used. I am speaking about shifting yourself, rather than shifting the focus when it is not convenient to your own agenda – an acquired art I am still attaining Mastery within. We truly are ALL things and In Self preserving you are going to use your awareness to allow yourself To Be that which you know in the future you will judge (based on your patterns – ancestrally and otherwise), rather than wasting your energy by fighting your actual becoming of all that is. If we are to become god-like; truly balanced beings, you must Allow yourself to become it rather than resist it by ‘Doing’ something. You can see on a larger scale, just why wars have broken out and why we have attempted to eliminate what hurts us. We want to Do something about it so we don’t realize just how much it hurts. Overall we don’t even want to understand why, leaving ourselves crippled with regards to changing the actual pattern. We never really tune into the frequency of our pain, nor that of The Other. In feeling this hurt of The Other, consequently you are provided with the gateway to attaining the freedom from having to continuously carry it unknowingly within ourselves. Rest assured it is always there until we learn to Love it within ourselves, and therefore within The Other – whichever may come first. Remember: Doing is masculine. Being is Feminine. We have been human doings long enough, it truly is time to learn to be a human being – for this is what our label is and most of us don’t live up to it very well. If at this time we are to see and know things from a different perspective, don’t we have stop and Be The Change, as Ghandi said? This involves shapeshifting consciously!

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Whenever I limit myself to existing inside of any one box, without allowing any room to fully immerse within another box even if just for a moment of Time, I become limited by experience. If we are limiting ourselves, don’t be fooled by illusion, it is never ‘just us’ we bring limitation to. We are limiting the entire collective as well. For As Within, So Without. How you feel inside is automatically the pattern you perpetuate. When I was a young child I remember people being proud of having one career and working hard at that one thing for their entire lives. Even as a young child this seemed like a cage to me. Why would anyone want to do that? What if you changed your mind? Or wanted to try something else? Life seemed so limiting and boring at this rate of growth! Apparently I was not the only child asking these questions because as I grew up into a teen in high school, I remember hearing that people averaged a total of 2.4 careers in the span of a given lifetime. As a collective, in a matter of 10 years we had changed A LOT. And the next 15 years after that has of course increased yet again. People are able to take in and process more information in each day, and naturally they begin to crave more experience to create balance in their own lives. Instead of being so single-minded in focus (a product of dualistic thinking), we are becoming unified in focus which allows for any and all experience to become yours in any given moment. No veil exists within Unity Consciousness – The One IS The Other, and The Other IS The One. The Age of Limitation is breaking open to herald the abundant tidings of the Rising Dawn. Herstory will now be told. It is rising within all of us. New choices and new options that we never imagined possible will appear to just fall together. When we let go of resistance and learn how to allow our own becoming, things tend to fall together. When we allow our ego to dictate what needs to be done, things tend to fall apart faster than you are able to put them back together. In contrast, within the simple receptivity of being, we become One again.

In these moments of Time that we refer to as Ascension, you would think that these particular sentiments would hit home for many. As we compare our present explosion of information to previous moments in Time, we may notice some repeating patterns. This is where we, as a collective we can make our mark as a planet within a cosmic frame of reference. One must know both sides of the collective story in order not to repeat it. We can take stories like Atlantis, Rome, Egypt, etc. and other great and mythical civilizations, and compare them to the point we are at on Earth today. It has been said that Atlantis is rising again! We are well into The Age of Information now, and I ask, why did these ancient civilizations fall? Were there any commonalities between them? Unless we alter the content of the patterns by consciously making changes – the same will come of us.

~IG~

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Enter The Feminine – New Logos and Personal Alchemy

I will begin this post with a link to my last post, which is the first installment titled Free Exercise – Core Lessons.

ARE YOU FEELING THE SHIFT IN FULL FORCE RIGHT NOW??

The limitation of our logical reality is paving the way and relinquishing Rightful power back to the creative chaos of the Feminine. The Divine Mother. As She rises, the world must rise with her. The old masculine and the old logos won’t approve, nor will they understand what is happening as this is most definitely not a logical process. Much confusion will prevail in the lives of those who are consciously or subconsciously programmed to control and dominate. And it’s happening Now! It is much bigger than anything we have ever lived through before. Are you feeling the pressure building within you and all around you? I wonder if this is how a baby feels inside the womb right before it births through it’s Mother?

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This shift in awareness is one of the gifts of understanding that I took home with me from my near death experience in Tikal December 21, 2012.

CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT

If you are not yet feeling the reality of this cosmic birthing process affecting your world, there are some things you can do to prepare yourself. ‘Being comfortable’ is a sign of stagnation and lack of desire, and this eventually leads to self destruction in order to find a way to attain some growth.

When you are very comfortable in your life – chances are you are stuck in a rut. Being comfortable, you may not perceive it as such, however, in time you will be made aware of it. To keep your life flowing and your routines from becoming well worn habits that you unconsciously perform – you can consciously keep your life flowing and expanding. Here is a list of 7 easy things you can do to achieve overall freedom in your reality.

  1. Journal your feelings or your dreams
  2. Try something new
  3. Change your mind about something
  4. Take a different path to work
  5. Change one small thing in your regular routine each day
  6. Cut coffee/cigarettes/caffeine out of your life for 1 day or 1 week
  7. When you encounter opposition, put yourself in the others’ shoes

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As you make these simple changes, the real work, or should I say the fun part becomes noticing the synchronicities develop all around you. You must be outside of the box to realize the depth and meaning behind synchronicity. Once you are outside of the normal expectations of your experience, others, and even you yourself, may think you are a little bit crazy – and according to your old limited world – you are! As you consciously shift the matrix you are living in, you will assuredly notice different things than you ever have before – if you are open to them, and if you look for them. If there was to be an addition to the aforementioned list, I would not add an 8th point (masculine) necessarily. Rather I would rather an additional element to each of the points listed (feminine), tying them together in our personal web of life.

  1. Journalyour feelings or your dream (NOTICE SYNCHRONICITY)
  2. Try something new (NOTICE SYNCHRONICITY)
  3. Change your mind about something (NOTICE SYNCHRONICITY)
  4. Take a different path to work (NOTICE SYNCHRONICITY)
  5. Change one small thing in your regular routine each day (NOTICE SYNCHRONICITY)
  6. Cut coffee/cigarettes/caffeine out of your life for 1 day or 1 week (NOTICE SYNCHRONICITY)
  7. When you encounter opposition, put yourself in the others’ shoes (NOTICE SYNCHRONICITY)

Again, this is a basic list – you can add your own variations at any time. Do any one thing consciously in each day…and watch. Notice synchronicity and the Divine Plan at work. You will see exactly what is connected to what. Just for the sake of doing so, I will define synchronicity so we all begin on the same page here.

Synchronicity – the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.

In this exercise quite frankly we are reverse engineering synchronicity – but we must be open to recognizing it, for this is the first step in succeeding at anything we do. By using your focus to watch for synchronicity (the effect) after you have initiated the cause (the change), you will be able to see how even the most minute actions you take, cause some serious ripples in your pond called personal reality. This generic blueprint I am providing you with will open up your perception of reality – as you self discover, you can personalize the blueprint to suit your specific needs and desires. Not only will you get to know yourself, but you will come face to face with this dark energy that makes up 70% of our Universe. You will see your very own creative potentials in action and be present when they emerge from the invisible womb that is holding Creation firmly in place.

This exercise will ease the stronghold that duality and a split consciousness has taken on your life. Be aware that as you make these changes in your life, others may re-act in an attempt to get you to go back into your old archetype and role. This is the test of change.

If someone gives you an either/or ultimatum, it can only be based in duality consciousness; Re-member: it is no-thing but illusion speaking. Anytime we feel victimized by something or someone else it means we are still veiled in illusion, no matter how much clarity we believe we have in that moment. Anything other than this Truth would mean that our Universe is NOT benevolent in its intent. Now, that would be a very interesting belief to consciously or even unconsciously hold. Many of us have done exactly this to some degree or another, because our physical minds alone cannot fathom the vastness of Creation. The logical mind splits itself into dualities in order to comprehend the ‘big picture’. This is exactly how wars start! We create stories about the good and bad of this world, about ‘the me’ and ‘the you’ as separate entities in this world, rather than understanding how it all compliments itself, as we compliment each other. We are programmed and trained to take any and all efforts to keep the dark and seemingly unpleasant, well beyond our scope of acknowledgement and understanding. There is no Truth in this – only half truth. This is no longer an accurate nor valuable reflection of the ‘big picture’ with half of the puzzle being split off, or conveniently missing from the initial sacred blueprint. Forgiveness is your remedy to bring wholeness back to oneself and to the world. Forgiveness allows us to grow and evolve. This is The Way to become God-like and to embrace ALL expressions as valuable re-sources in our Creation. It wouldn’t be here otherwise. Once you are able to identify yourself as all things and live in each moment as a self reflective being, you win the game and begin playing a new one. Which one? You get to choose as the conscious creator of it! You become a unity conscious Being in physical reality. You will be internally balanced being beyond polarity and polarized thought processes with your dominant tendency being inclusiveness. You will become a new avatar archetype for the ascension process of humanity.

This (and more!) is possible if you find the inconsistency within self and bring the Light of your awareness to it, rather than hide from it using smoke and mirrors. It will be easier to forgive and embrace The Other that is bound to you by Honor – to give you the feedback you require to evolve. This feedback is not something that may be calculated by the ego – it is a natural and authentic response to you and for you, in each moment. I will repeatTHIS IS THE FEEDBACK YOU REQUIRE TO EVOLVE. If you attempt to block it or eliminate it from your life by physical means alone, you are setting yourself up for a fall. Spiritually you will advance further than what your physical vessel can maintain. You must do the inner work to REALLY move forward rather than deluding yourself into thinking your are off the merry go round of your dualistic mental creations. Find the gift(s) they brought you beneath all of the resistance you feel. ‘They’ were determined that you would not miss your own Mastery this time around! At the very least, be grateful for this. It just may open new awareness and allow new perspectives to emerge regarding the gift hidden within the experience we have chosen to identify as negative. Remember nothing is inherently good or bad, only our definition makes it so. If you have any emotion towards an unpleasant experience or situation – it is unresolved within you and waiting to be healed. Unresolved, it always resurfaces in Time.

Again, the Feminine is about inclusiveness rather than division. When you are truly a unity conscious being, it is always that and more! There is no division where we are going! The Feminine knows that change is the only true constant and that the four corners exist to support our growth, not to contain it. As we release ourselves from comfortable boxes and explore our consciousness more deeply, we will reveal our greatest creative potentials. As we Enter The Feminine and learn to embrace our discomforts,  we will birth through into an entirely new manifestation of our world.

Did you notice any synchronicity today? If you did, I would be honored to hear about it!

 ~IG~

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Free Exercise ~ Core Lessons

Look over the last year since January 2013, and see if you can find any common themes (common underlying issues – ie –  anger, or self worth, or lack of follow through, etc.) that are playing out repetitively in your life. How are you self sabotaging? And be totally honest with yourself – it’s only You and your ego in this Now moment. Right now, before the end of this year, it is the perfect time to do this exercise so you don’t carry outstanding lessons forward with you, unresolved.

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Without thinking about it too much – off the top of your head, what is the common core issue that emerges in your life since January 2013? Center yourself in your Heart and feel it a bit deeper now. What do you come up with? Between October – December of any given year, the cosmic pressure is on to wrap up any unlearned lessons that have presented themselves to you. It is a keen moment in the yearly cycle (10th, 11th and 12th months) to find and resolve any core issue(s). Those that are required for you to learn to move forward are most definitely rearing their heads by November, an entire month of illumination! Resolving a core issue just may domino and free other smaller issues that seem to cripple us so rapidly, allowing us to get back on track and tuned into our hearts once again. Afterall, this is a large reason why we are so emotional – our perspective does not match our reality and our ego does not know how to let go of its own Mental creation. If we address the core issue, the illusions we created while avoiding the wound, will seemingly disappear.

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Spend some time focused on and in reflection of that main core issue to find resolution without getting distracted by everything else on your proverbial (and not so proverbial) plate. Once you recognize the core issue at hand you can find the emotional trigger, and consequently, the seed experience that created it. Often, if we change our dominant perspective of the moment that the seed was being ‘planted’, we can change the entire experience in our lives Now – even if it is well after the initial occurrence. You just need to know which perspective needs to be changed. This is what I refer to as collapsing timelines. Once you get to the ‘bottom of’ any given thing, everything that took place after this experience will alter within, to provide the appropriate reflection of outer experience in your present reality. But first we must be willing to feel it, in order to recognize it and then heal it, thus achieving a state of transcendence. How many illusions have we created for ourselves by a-voiding feeling the discomfort of the void? This sounds like such an oxymoron to me. What is this secret fear that compels each of us to do such things? Is it a Universal fear of knowing our own pain?

And what if we allowed ourselves to enter the Void, to permeate within the discomfort of not knowing, and chose to live in this garden of realized potentials?

Just who do you think we would become?

I will continue and expand some of these ideas in my next blog post titled ~ Entering The Feminine – New Logos for Personal Alchemy. Please subscribe to my blog so you do not miss the next installment!

If you would like some one on one guidance, please check out my Services and book a session!

~IG~

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Numerology for November 20, 2013

11 20 2013 – such an interesting day for my world to shift so much! I don’t need to necessarily say what it means – you can look at the pattern and see the synchronicity and if you gave yourself a moment to actually tune into it – you would most definitely FEEL the resonance of the movement and in the flow of the energy this day holds. The final opportunity to learn these lessons regarding the Feminine before the end of this year is Now until the end of this month!
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In the midst of the 11/2 (illumination and partnership) and the 13/4(self expression and beliefs or structures), we even have 20/20 vision! The veils between within and without are thin! 20 also represents lessons and also potential regarding the Feminine and partnerships. Pay attention to what rises and to what falls in your world today! What is it you are seeing with your physical eyes? What is your physical world/feedback system telling you today? Did you align correctly? Is it in flow? What is bringing itself to your awareness today? Is it one thing? Or many things? Weed out the Karma and plant the Dharma!!! What is the Law of Reflection telling you today? What do you still need to work on/ And what have you outgrown but still not detached from? Intend to learn outstanding lessons concerning self, partnership and manifestation.

And so it is.

~IG~

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The Journey To Your Authentic Self

ARE YOU LIVING IN YOUR TRUTH?

If not, chances are you are feeling lost and alone right now. As individuals we are hardly able to find ourselves, much less anyone else. The vast majority of our planet is caught in this rut. How old were you when you first stopped speaking your Truth? Were you 7? 13? 20? There appears to be a gap in consciousness. We have forgotten how to get from here (the made up self) ———> to there (the Authentic Self), naturally. Energetically, we have forgotten how to grow up! Your Truth is symbolically your h(OM)e. When you are out of alignment with your Truth, you are out of alignment with that which you truly are, perceive, do, think, etc. in any given moment. As long as you are out of alignment, you will never create the seemingly illusive bridge that allows you to feel at h(OM)e on this planet. I would encourage you to study and make a practice of the Law of Self in your daily life since we are here to live through the experience of the reflection of that which we hold within. As long as we remain unconscious to this aspect of reality, we will remain split as we continue promoting and living out our duality paradigms such as good/bad, right/wrong, black/white. These are all judgments merely representing the layers that actually hold your Truth camouflaged from you.

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Once you make this practice of Self a new habit in your world, you may begin using The Law of Reflection as a tool to decode your own reality. You will notice that there will be less room for judgment in your world as you see the correspondences that exist. On occasion, I have looked into my reality, already aware of this powerful information, and quite truly I had a very hard time accepting that I somehow had a hand in creating the circumstance of that experience. Once centered in my Being, I again allow myself to be in a space where I am observing the bigger picture, conscious and aware; then I am able to make new decisions and take new actions that lead me into the direction of Love and Joy. How can this be done? By releasing resistance to the world around you so you can see things as they truly are, and from there respond accordingly. Allow the mental game of duality and judgment to fall away. Drop your awareness into the center of your heart, where your Authentic Self resides. This is where you will recover the voice of Knowing. Choose to place your energy into new directions that feel better to your body, mind and soul, while remaining aware of that which is reflecting to you. It sounds complicated and it is an acquired artform in its own right. To begin your own journey to your Authentic Self, it merely takes your intention to do so and a willingness to respond to the answers you receive. If your choices involve your heart, I have no doubt you are on the right track already!

Be sure to re-direct potential pitfalls by remaining aware that old habits and patterns die hard. Generally, we are creatures of comfort and habit, by knowing our own ‘demons’ we can be more conscious as we enter into experiences that are reminiscent of our old, well worn in stories. We must be rigorous on this journey into Self. It is a process of living that we have not entirely experienced before now, yet it is entirely beneficial to develop it in your life. As you do, you will quite literally change your brain and heal any inconsistencies where fear and stagnation have taken a hold of your life. Utilizing reflection as a tool you will recalibrate the hemispheres of your brain and re-program new perspectives and patterns into already existent cycles in your blueprint. The framework is still useful, and the new information you generate with this exercise will naturally fire through the pathways in your brain as you discover the synchronicities of ‘within’ to that which is ‘without’. This is where the stage is set for healing and transformation to take place – where we allow the lines of reality become blurred.

As you consciously create this new pattern – you will begin to change your mind – a lot! Allow these new truths and new ways of being to flow freely through your expression without judgement or pre-conceived notion for how you believe things should be. *Noting: the idea you have about how you believe things ‘should be’ is created from your beliefs and/or Mind Matrix* These are the very beliefs that you are attempting to move beyond in order to nestle into a space of Inner Knowing. Once you understand that your beliefs are based on dualities that are merely holding your illusions and your pain firmly in place – you will naturally seek Truth in the world around you; and have no doubt that your Truth is also seeking you.

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Your limiting beliefs will quite naturally fall away if you allow yourself to fully surrender to this Universal process. Yes, this is precisely what we have all been running from for most of our lives, and I am telling you to turn to face it and embrace it. You will begin to forget things, sometimes quite rapidly, as you allow the old to fall away. Each time you allow that shift to take place, you recalibrate to an entirely new reality where the surface looks identical, but the subtleties are not the same. Innately we all transfer our old memories along with us to be re-interpreted by our body with each shift in perspective. This is how we process, detox and dis-identify from the sole view of our ego self. As we progress, we will begin to expand into a more multidimensional perspective of ourselves, and of our reality. This means seeing and processing the world through many truths at once. In view of the bigger picture, all of these little shifts will create a larger paradigm shift which will ultimately align you with your Truth at the core of who you really are.

Your burden is of false self-identifications—abandon them all!

Nisargadatta Maharaj

Only in speaking your Truth will you ever be free. Your Truth, like you, is ever changing and evolving ~ if you are growing. Without speaking our Truth in the moments that make up the journey of our lives, we become lost in our alignment with our True Self. As we begin to peal back the layers of who we thought we were, we reveal everything hidden in between and our ego goes into panic feeling threatened by change and of the unknown. The roadblock becomes obvious since we have identified with our masks and forgotten the part of us that makes any of this real in the first place. The Authentic Self resides untarnished beneath the masks we have adopted as the real “I”. The ego employs the archaically programmed mind to make you second guess yourself, leaving you few options but to  enter into a frequency of fear. These are your invisible barriers that keep you locked within a world of lack. Your ego wants you to believe that it is somehow better not to change. But this is a trap since without Soul alignment you will never truly Know yourself, and no one else will ever know you either. And to this I say, “If that is true – what would be the point?”. The most brilliant part of oneself is kept hidden beneath the veils shrouded in collective taboos, and our minds use this net to hold us ‘safely’ within the collective delusion. It almost seems to be an epidemic – over time, I wonder what these thought patterns will express themselves as in our bodies, and in our physical reality? I do believe this is one of the many reasons that so many people feel so separated from our world as we know it. Too many people live their lives based on what they don’t want to experience, rather than living their lives from a place of choosing what they do want to experience. Consequently much of humanity does not feel responsible for their circumstances and continue to remain in a state of dis-empowerment. Fear was choosing for them and so apathy has taken hold. How has this affected our children? How likely is it that they have created new ways of behaving ‘badly’ to get our attention? When we continually drug them and silence their voices, what dis-eases will actually begin to physically manifest to make us aware of this pink elephant in the room?

Somewhere along the lines of times, confusion took hold, and we all began following the pack. We became ghosts unto our own Selves living within realities that we forgot how to question. This created an underlying perpetual state of loneliness; a pit of darkness that must be navigated and moved through. We search for the Divine spark that is buried deeply within our persona, also known as: The Compromised Victim. How can you feel anything but alone when you are living a story of victimization? How well do you think you would be able to Know others? Living this way, how are we able to accurately perceive or Know anything at all?

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Q: How do you know when you have found your Truth?

A: When is the last time you changed your mind? Truth, as with anything, is a process of unfolding. Each time you consciously choose Soul alignment taking yourself beyond absently living within the previous consensus of your reality, you have found more of your True Self. The Soul Retrieval in action.

HOW DO WE EVER GET BACK TO A PLACE OF KNOWING WITHIN THE AUTHENTIC SELF?

What is your dominant intention? What actions do you choose to support this intention? Remember: Your mind will begin to co-operate with the greater consensus of that which you are. Intend wisely, align Divinely and respond authentically.

The mind is an incredible and malleable ally once we teach the ego to let go of the beliefs that create the holding patterns we dare not move beyond. We are stagnating between worlds ~ between that of the head, and that of the heart. And not aligning fully with either world leaves us in a consensus limbo. Our beliefs are programmed into the Mind Matrix, and our Authentic Self manifests as that inner longing that pulls us into our Soul Matrix. They are the constants that hold our reality firmly in place. Whenever we are triggered and therefore tested, the subconscious takes over, lowering veils around the heart so that we do not compromise the Authentic Self. It is a protection mechanism that comes from living in ‘survival mode’ which is the result of an out of balance root chakra. When we teach the ego how to see the world from different perspectives, we are releasing the resistance that keeps us in a stronghold of fear that ultimately directs the experience of our reality. So, what happens when we collapse our limiting beliefs, the actual barriers that are keeping our reality from being more fluid and liquid? What happens when we neutralize the invisible blocks that we hold within our minds? And how does our reality compensate?

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Here in the physical sphere of experience, we are given the opportunity to make a quantum leap out of our pre-programmed collective fate. Once we have re-experienced contact with that Divine spark within – we have our skeleton key to true Freedom – anytime, anywhere. This is the one shining moment in the quest of life that becomes the proverbial point of no return – the moment of “The Knowing”. You only need to feel this Knowing one time. Once we experience this re-alignment with our Source, it is then a simple choice to follow that feeling, or not to. It is only by making the choice to jump when you first feel that inner fire ignite, or to talk yourself out of it based on what you have previously believed, been taught, or experienced – that will make all of the difference in what you manifest.

The rules of the game are changing and you are the one changing them for you! Our rebirth experiences do not need to be at all traumatic, although they can be. If we learn to embrace the little deaths we are creating conscious and benevolent change. When we avoid and run from them, eventually we run out of places to hide. We are here to evolve. If we delay our evolution, there comes a point where we have no other choice but to self destruct, taking ourselves out of bounds for this present experience of life. If we are stuck, the most self loving thing we can do is enlist those who have already taken these steps themselves to guide us safely through the unchartered waters of our mental and emotional confines. This is the position that the Universe has created for me, and many others. I was initiated into a place of my own authenticity through the duality of life and death. This brought me to a point of no return where I was on path and pointed into the direction of my own Authentic Self. In other words, the Universe played Big Brother with me and had it’s way.

I am here to support you as a guide, and to bring you to that one moment of Self alignment and true Knowing. You are always the pilot. I am merely the co-pilot in this moment of your life. It is through embracing this very journey myself, that I am also able to guide you through your own story, acting as a bridge for the new you to finally emerge.

Authentically Yours,

~IG~

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Life Lessons and Harmonic Reflections

others1

There is no meaning assigned to anything, it is always what we make of it. If you are the observer, you are now responsible for your observation. I suggest exploring it, rather than blocking it from happening, or keeping yourself from feeling it’s effects. This is your gift – a forgotten piece of yourself coming home to you! These experiences are here to serve us. When did we stop Knowing and trusting this? Why would we stop our own evolution in its progress? When did we begin playing this game with ourselves where we run away from our natural integration – playing catch me if you can with the Soul? In order to receive our unique instructions from the Divine, we must be self aware beyond the egos realm. Otherwise we will remain a false point of attraction in our very own paradigm.

If we aren’t honest about our human observations, how can we move beyond our previous judgments and begin creating something new? It is likely we will get trapped in them and begin re-creating those same circumstances ourselves. For learning purposes, of course! The reflection ‘out there’ has no choice but to give you an honest reflection of yourself ‘in here’. If you aren’t being real with yourself, never fear, the Universe is here to re-mind you! And it’s always accurate.

The Force – The Space Between Polarities

How you treat others is always relative to how you treat yourself.

How you treat yourself is always relative to how you treat others.

polarity1

“They do not understand that what differs agrees with itself;

it is a back-stretched connection such as the bow or the lyre.”

Heraclitus

It’s been right in front of us the entire time! There are no secrets in this holographic reality. Only a choice to look at both sides or to a-void validation of Truth. Just because you choose not to observe The Force, does not mean it does not exist. We have been programmed to see the duality in our world rather than through the Higher Eye of Unity. We can hide behind the dualities that our split mind has conceived, but Truth comes via Unity consciousness, AKA The Bigger Picture. Make the most of your Reflections, stretch yourself to see the Correspondences from within and from without, and make peace with yourself at last.

What came first the chicken or the egg? They are simultaneous. So then depending on where you are standing, you could prove either reality to be true. And so they both came first.

There is no true separation from The One to The Other, only a different mask.

~IG~

The Space Between – Dave Matthews Band

You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like ‘Will it rain today?’
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted game we play

We’re strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?
Will I hold…

Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don’t take this ship down

The Space Between
Where you’re smiling high
Is where you’ll find me if I get tickled
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I’ll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into…
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

Take my hand
‘Cause we’re walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What’s wrong and right
Is where you’ll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we’ll fill with time
The Space Between…

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Right Willed

Free will is mostly an illusion – you can choose to model this and bridge Heaven and Earth:
8fold_path

Or you can choose not to. You are free to extend your experience as long as you want. You will still come back around and move through whatever it is you were avoiding in the first place. The patterns and cycles repeat until we become righteous in our awareness. “You” meaning, a person, a community, a corporation, a family, etc.

Divinely, something is ‘Right’ when one’s integrity aligns with their free will.

~IG~

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My Re-Birth in Tikal ~ December 2012

This is the most recent of my many defining moments – I thought that it would be a good place to start. In time I will be adding more as I filter through my memory banks of illnesses and experiences and find a final resting place for them all here; where hopefully they can inspire others to gain their knowledge through me, and make better choices to flow through their own experiences more flawlessly. It is time to Lighten the load And we all have a story to share! Here is my story about Tikal, December 2012:

Tawnya’s Story

Paul and I manifested a trip to Tikal. Magically, about three weeks before we left – it just all fell together. The money came together for it and so we booked. We decided we would go for Dec 12 (which is what my guides told me – that I needed to be in Tikal for: ONE ceremony on Dec 12), and not necessarily for 7 Fire Ceremonies with Mayan Elders and Shamans for 7 days that we were also planning for. It was exciting. A couple of days before leaving I got this intuition that we were supposed to hold some kind of ceremony together – and we both verbally agreed to this. As we continued packing, our guides were giving us some interesting things to pack – the most interesting was the huge blade that Paul almost didn’t get across the border. Until Dec 15, we did not know just how important of a component this knife would become.

The night we were leaving we both caught my daughter’s cold. I was feeling horrible and something inside me was a little hesitant about going feeling so yucky myself, and with my daughter not being well also. Either way after much internal struggle, we left and made the last stop at the corner store before we got on the Robert Q Airbus. So I get out at the store and I could clearly hear my guides talking as I am at the cash about to ask for a carton of cigarettes. I kept getting the same thing ~ ‘you only need 2 or 3 packs..’, which of course made me panic a little bit knowing I was going away for ten days! So I bought one carton + one pack lol..just in case!

We boarded our little bus and headed for the airport. Getting across the border from Canada to get into Detroit was the next step. We did get hassled quite a bit at the border. From the knife, to the sage, to the essential oils that were packed. I am sure they thought everything we had was….interesting! They questioned us thoroughly, and we stuck with the reply – ‘we are going to the JUNGLE!’ We waited on the bus for a bit to hear back from them after they took our stuff inside their facility. They came out and said they made a decision that even though they are not supposed to allow a blade that big enter their country, that since they saw our itinerary and we were going straight to the airport and wouldn’t have access to our luggage while in their country – that they would allow us to keep the blade. And all of our other stuff. Amazing things happen when the Divine is at play.

It was a long day of traveling. Our second flight was delayed and it was a crowded wait. Quite exhausting actually. Finally we boarded and arrived in Guatemala, and got to our hotel for our first night. We stayed in Guatemala City and it was a rough experience. Both of us were not feeling well and we were pretty tired after our previous two flights. When the cab finally pulled up at our hotel, I saw someone pushing a huge wheelbarrow FULL of oranges. It looked so scrumptious! I was so tempted to go and get one, but I saw Paul and the driver already across the street, so I didn’t bother. Perhaps one aspect in a chain reaction that I could have avoided. There was a reason those oranges were right there and caught my attention as they did! Either way I didn’t speak my truth not wanting to be a pain, we continued to make our way across the street and went up to our room and went to sleep. I woke up sobbing a few times during the night. Each time I woke up crying and saying it was for my Mother..only not necessarily my Earth mother. It was very emotional and I was still sniffling and coughing, struggling to shake this cold. The next day we stayed in the hotel room most of the day, just trying to get our strength back. Unsure about the food and water and really not nourishing ourselves so well, it was finally time to go to the airport to catch our flight to Tikal. We arrived in Tikal the night of December 11, 2012. We were informed that we had to be up for 4am to make it to the driver to get into Tikal the next day. This would be the only bus that would be going from our hotel. So we ate and I hurried and used Rose’s computer (this is a wonderful new friend we met!) that she was so kind to share with me. I contacted my mother to let her and Alecksandria know that we made it there, that we were alive and that we wouldn’t be able to come in contact too much more as we did not bring any technology ourselves.

So we went to bed and got up – early. At this time my cold was feeling better although I had a nagging cough and Paul was still not entirely up to par either. When I brushed my teeth that morning, I had a mouthful of blood! When we went downstairs to grab some fruit before leaving, I shared this oddity with Rose and she told me I needed Vitamin C or Zinc, and that she had some Zinc. I opted to drink a rose hip tea when we got back from Tikal that evening. So we left for Tikal for Dec 12 festivities! I was elated. We went on a little hike and walked into where Tower 1 and Tower 2 were and I was completely overwhelmed with emotion. I choked it back for a moment and then just allowed the emotion to pour right through me. I was in tears on the ground and didn’t have any idea ‘what’ was taking over me. In the midst of my crying scene, behind us we see many, many people entering where we were standing. They were all walking up to the Towers and falling onto their knees making offerings and praying. Then we realize that they are setting up for ceremony – wow – I guess THIS was the ceremony I had to be there for on Dec 12 2012! No need to search at all – this was definitely Divinely aligned!

Tikal - Tower 1

Tikal – Tower 1

Tikal - Tower 2

Tikal, Tower 2

We were informed that we were not allowed to join in the ceremony, however, we could observe. How incredibly honored I was that I got to witness this! So as they set up, we took some time to explore the grounds a bit. The ceremony was quite beautiful. It was in Spanish and even though I had no idea what they were saying – the resonance hummed like a thread through my Heart. All of the Shamans were on their knees throughout ceremony walking around, giving offerings, and even dancing like this at times. Near the end of the fire ceremony they came over to all of us that were witnessing, and told us that we were now free to join in dancing around the circle with them. I hesitated, but our friend Rose urged me to join in, and I went with her. After a good ten minutes of dancing and celebrating the closing of ceremony, all of a sudden a HUGE rain cloud came and put the fire out. Everyone cheered because the rain held off long enough for ceremony to finish. And it rained for quite a long time! And everything was sooo muddy – and cold. When it finally let up a few hours later, we came out of our little shelter we were sharing with many others, and got back to our little bus just in time to make it back to the hotel.

And it pours!

And it pours!

Our rain shelter

Our Rain Shelter

So later that night, I was eating dinner with our now rapidly expanding group at the hotel. The rest of the guests started arriving for the Fire Ceremony events we all signed up for. As the others came in there was one girl in particular I began speaking with; A Mayan lady that is named Maya. As we were talking she said that her teacher had a horrible day. When I asked why, she said she was in Tikal for ceremony this day as well. She proceeded to tell me there were MANY ceremonies that day, but that only ONE fulfilled prophecy. Her teacher spent his entire life preparing for this day, and his ceremony got rained out before the fire was even completely lit, but that prophecy was still fulfilled by those who held ceremony in between Tower 1 and Tower 2. She also told me that at that ceremony their focus was to give the power back to the Feminine, and that this reality was supported by the Universe because it did not get rained out. The ceremony was completed, and then the rain came. So now I see that somehow, Divinely, I did end up exactly where I was supposed to be on this one and only day I was guided to be in Tikal. Understanding this, I took leave and went to bed, without drinking a rose hip tea..or taking any Zinc!

Dinner Area

Dinner Area

The next day, Dec 13, Paul and I were to fulfill our agreement to hold a little personal ceremony together. I guess being there in Guatemala, not feeling 100% well still and with lots of new people arriving at the hotel, we got a little side tracked and didn’t follow through with ceremony we committed to (mental note from here on out – when you make a deal with Heaven – you follow through!!!!). Either way, this was our first day ‘off’ from traveling and from ‘doing’ anything. And we really embraced the opportunity to relax and attempt to rejuvenate ourselves fully for the next 7 Fire Ceremonies in the week ahead! The day slipped by and we went to sleep early to prepare for the day ahead of us.

That night I dreamt of my mom with two other ladies we know. They came there to Guatemala with us in our beautiful hotel room. We were talking and having a great time. Then all of a sudden they were down by the beach. I was excited about something and went down by the water to talk to them. When I got there, they were all ignoring me. I would talk and then they would begin talking as if I wasn’t there at all. In my confusion I suddenly see that I am back at home in Canada, with my daughter Alecksandria! And she says ‘Come on mom!’ And takes me back to the beach in Guatemala outside of our hotel room ~ and voila! I am no longer invisible!! I was able to speak and communicate with everyone, and continued doing so as if nothing ever happened, only my little girl was there with us now! I had no idea that this was going to be so prophetic concerning what was to come in my re-birthing experience ahead.

December 14 was the first actual day everyone got together and met with the Shamans and such. A day of learning and workshops, definitely right up my alley! I woke up not feeling very well at all. It was hot in the room so I turned on the air conditioner at night, and I ended up in major cold sweats a few times, and really felt I needed to stay back and rest, since the night to not prove to be too rejuvenating. I was a little bummed out but nonetheless, I really felt I needed to honor myself and stay back. Paul went to the teachings that were held at the hotel that day and brought lunch and dinner to the room for me to eat. By evening we both thought that perhaps I would be better the next day so I could go to the first Fire Ceremony. when 4am came and it was time to get ready for the 1st of the 7 fire ceremonies, I was even worse than the day before. I doubt I really looked all that bad at the time, but I just felt horrible! A deep inner exhaustion. And I opted to stay back, encouraging Paul to go so that at least one of us got to be apart of it! The first ceremony was for the root chakra. Each ceremony and location was chosen for specific reasons and resonances.

I had a really rough day that day! By the time Paul got back I was very short of breath and not able to really get out of bed since I was feeling so weak. When Paul came into the room, he was surprised at how he found me. He took care of my ever growing list of needs and provided me with water and nourishment. Did I mention the whole week he was running up and down a plethora of stairs to get to our room? Nonetheless, by this point – I am really scared and not too into eating, I am sure this was alarming to Paul as well. My lungs were just so heavy and I was so sore from coughing, it felt like my entire body was collapsing on itself. I even surprised myself with the notion that I actually wanted a doctor. Had I been in Canada, I would surely have opted for a doctor even though I would not entertain one for any other incident for a many, many years. Paul talked to some of the people there and got in touch with the translator (neither of us speak Spanish) and he comes back and tells me there are two options – the first of which I was very open to lol. 1. The lady who organized this group had a husband who was a doctor; but I would need to get to a public hospital (which was NOT clean and we did not have health insurance) and it was three hours away. I could get there by bus, but by this point my breathing is very taxed, my fever is smoking hot, my ribs are so sore I can hardly get out of bed, and i don’t realize it but i have an incredible ear infection ~ it was just too much to register all at once! There was no way I could make it on a crowded bus for three hours in my condition! Either way i am choking on phlegm and not able to cough it up because my ribs were already so bruised. 2. My second option was to go about a mile down the road to a 73 old medicine woman. And I also knew I couldn’t even make it that far. I was feeling very desperate and scared and three times before Paul left to go to the medicine woman (without me), I wished death upon myself. It was just getting to be too much. I said I would use his knife to slit my wrists if I could get up to get to it. Paul took the knife with him when he left. While he was gone, I was visited by the Angel of Death and the Angel of Life. One Being, split into two separate manifestations before me. The Angel of Death gave me an option – ‘Enter back into illusion and your pain will be gone instantaneously’. You can only imagine how appealing this was to me! The Angel of Life said to enter into True Reality I must continue to suffer until I am sufficiently cleansed. And that none of this was a ‘punishment’. This was a natural occurrence as I now understand it due to my own disregard for really treating my body as a temple throughout my life and other ancestral/genetic links. Talk about undoing the undo-able! So again, the Angel of Death was still quite appealing with my present state of Being and mental functioning. And then I see another vision of my daughter’s face. She starts moving towards me, talking to me and telling me to ask more questions. So I look at the Angel of Death and I ask him what it means that I will ‘go back into illusion’? And I instantly understand that it means FORGETFULNESS. Back into the incarnational cycle. Or out of Physical Reality as I know it until I am ready to enter back into Physical incarnation with a new body/vessel. In the meantime I would be able to communicate with my daughter, but not feel her and hug her ever again! And the communication would be nothing more than impulses that hopefully she would stay connected enough to be able to tune into. Kind of like the relationship I have with my own guides – and we are all seeing how clearly this existing pattern has worked for me (not!). That just didn’t seem like such an appealing reality anymore ~ standing by having Alecksandria ignore me just as I have ignored my own guides! I have worked sooo hard in this lifetime to get to the point I was at, there was no way I was going to lose it all again AND not be able to be physically close to my little girl. I have a very deep understanding that this little girl is an earth angel in physical form and has quite literally saved my life just because of her very presence in my world. My little guide. So I choose the Angel of Life and I choose to continue to suffer to allow myself to get through this cleansing process. I put it all in me, surely I can handle it coming out – afterall – we are only given as much as we can handle. I take some moments to pray for the most gentle process and for it to continue with ease and grace. At this point I have no idea how much time has elapsed, all I know is that I am speaking aloud and coming to the realization that I am all alone in this room saying, “I choose life..I choose life…I choose life…”over and over again. My breathing is quite shallow and I am freezing in cold sweats again and I swear I was smelling hot dogs on the campfire outside as Paul comes through the door. I knew that to authenticate this decision to stay in this vessel that I call my body, something significant should be done. So I threw out the entire carton of cigarettes as a commitment to my wellness and to solidify the decision to choose Life. Paul was unpacking the cactus leaves, roots and tree bark. And then followed the directions this beautiful herbalist shared with him. He first had to ‘flip my fever’. This was accomplished by getting cold cloths and putting them under my armpits and at the same time putting my feet into very hot water. Soon enough my body began to balance out and my cold sweats went away – for the moment at least. We still do not know how high my fever actually got over those few days. Once the fever was balanced Paul cut open the cactus leaves and put them on my feet so that it would absorb my fever if it wanted to resurrect itself, and he moved onto making tree bark and jungle root teas! The big blade that I was imagining cutting my wrists open with before choosing Life, was coming in very handy in this healing initiative! I attempted to eat some food but really it took too much out of me to even chew. This became a theme, mostly eating small amounts of fruit for the next few days – along with jungle juices and teas that Paul made for me.

Leaves...

More Leaves..Roots...

Leaves and roots that Paul brought back to make the remedies and teas that healed my lungs!

Sadly, neither of us made it to any other ceremony while on this trip. After a couple of days Paul needed to go replenish the supply with the herbalist, Maria. And we were running very low on VIcks vapour rub (this stuff was a hot commodity, and my best friend)! I was still feeling way too weak to make it there. I definitely felt I had more strength, but still did not have enough energy to make it THAT far. And my breathing was entirely too shallow. There were some moments that I didn’t know how it was possible that I was taking in enough oxygen to be able to sustain myself. But somehow I did. Perhaps only because I didn’t have anyone around that witnessed it otherwise..? I was blessed to eventually have two Shamans (husband and wife) come to the room and help me. She was a reflexologist and also used oils to assist me in clearing this up. And truly the reflexology gave me such great relief, even if for a short time, it was a welcome break from the constant agony I was in. The next day I decided it was time to somehow make it to Maria’s. After walking to the front of the hotel, we ended up hitching a ride with some people. When I first arrived at her home I just hugged her. I told her she was the lady that was about to save my life and I told her I loved her and thanked her profusely in advance. Of course, she speaks Spanish so did not understand what I was saying, however, I am sure she felt the gratitude through our heart connection. She heard me still coughing and told the translator that I had too much air in my lungs. This seemed like a very odd suggestion to me, air seemed like a good thing for lungs to have, especially since mine felt filled with water, rather than with air! But I knew I was to trust this lady, that this was Divinely orchestrated and that *somehow* there was going to be a big gift in this if I could just keep a decent perspective active. So I surrendered and allowed her to work her magic. And so she did. She used the cupping technique on my lungs as they do in Chinese Medicine. This made all the difference in the world. I could breathe again! I mean – my ribs were sore but I could breathe again!!! I didn’t feel compelled to cough! As I was silently celebrating my relief, Maria was putting some of her herbal/alcohol concoction into my left ear. Not realizing that I still had a long way to go to get this healed, I was a bit overzealous in attempting to walk back to the hotel. As we stood up – it was like my entire circuitry was re-set – in one flash I was drenched in sweat! I was suddenly in the middle of blacking out while attempting to remember where there was a seat on her front porch so I could shift there and sit down. After finding my way back to the present reality, we decided a ride would work much better for the time being, and took some remedies back to the hotel with us courtesy of Maria.

Mending My Left Ear

Mending My Left Ear

So now we are down to December 19th I believe – it is definitely one big blur at this point. Maria sent us home with many new healing ‘goodies’.  Now the focus was to support my lungs and my poor bruised ribs, but mainly to heal whatever infection was in my ear. I thought this would have been the easier part, having gone through so much already. Nonetheless I was grateful to only have to really focus on healing the ear..until it got so painful that I couldn’t stand it. It was pure agony and I had no such ‘pain reliever’ of course. This was an entirely different pain then what I had just experienced. Not having ear infections for many, many years, it is amazing how I forgot about how much this hurt! I could understand why as a child when I had ear infections my mom was so quick to take me to the doctor! No such options in this place. So I moved through it. I got up in the middle of the night pacing the room back and forth, literally banging my head against the wall. I kept asking myself endlessly – ‘what do I need to learn from this’ and doing Ho’oponopono over and over again. The days and nights blurred together at this point. I know the beautiful shaman and her husband continued to come and check up on me daily – sometimes twice a day. For this I was extremely grateful. Her visits always brought great relief through reflexology. The things this woman could tell me about myself by looking at my feet completely AMAZED me. It also brought back the memory that I used to want to be a reflexologist! Because others criticized this desire I shut it down and I stayed a restaurant manager longer rather than following what I really wanted to (I so wish I knew about the Law of Self back then!). Having this memory resurfaced through this experience, I could definitely get back onto this path! Knowing this brought me great joy, as I knew I had to be on the mend to be able to be given any kind of these clues of what to do once I am actually healed of this. The Shaman told me to express myself and not hold things in and I have been doing just that since then. That night I asked Paul to sit down and he sat for hours and listened patiently, as I spoke of every ‘secret’ that could have possibly NOT been expressed throughout my lifetime. Whatever came to my head – I spoke of freely. I am sure it caught him quite off guard, but he was a great sport and took it all in stride. This assisted me greatly since I needed to release some of this emotion that was stored inside this wound.

So the next few days were touch and go. My lungs and ribs feel better by the hour. My ear, slow going – I still have absolutely NO hearing in my left ear at this point. Paul suggests each day for me to get out in the sunshine, and that alone felt like such a huge feat. But with Paul’s assistance I did get out to the water to sit on the dock a couple of times, which truly just felt wonderful. But much of the time I felt I just wanted to cocoon in our room. Save my strength to get home. I brought my old Iphone which I was using to take pictures and such, and realized I had some home video with my daughter on it. This brought me incredible strength and joy. What a gift! A spark was ignited that was dormant since falling ill.

Tawnya, Maria and Paul

Tawnya, Maria and Paul

We are now just a couple of days away from leaving and it seems my ear is not really getting better at all. We have two wonderful ladies down the hall from us and they give me some pain reliever. Oh was I in Heaven – I felt like a drug addict – I wanted MORE. Almost each night I was up all night long with my ear pounding. I am worried since I know that if something doesn’t shift soon with my ear that I will not make it home on time for Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, after everything, I would be happy to be at home at all, even if it was later than Christmas. Paul worked on switching our flights, which surprisingly, once he found a phone to use and got to call, was easy. No hassle. We put our flight out of Tikal off for another day, and canceled out one other night in Guatemala City, opting to stay where we were another night instead. So this means we have three flights to catch to make it home in one day – December 24. In the meantime I am very leery about flying with my ear feeling how it was. I was totally unsure about what to do. So the night before we take off I pray for an answer. And I woke up with the word “Sinutab” on my mind! My ear was pretty sore so I took the second last pain reliever and I tell Paul about Sinutab. As we are picking up some fruit for the trip to the airport one of the girls from down the hall says, ‘Here – you need this – it’s Sinutab’. Of course I couldn’t believe my ear since I just woke up with exactly this on my mind. I gratefully received it and thanked her. She gave me enough to get through the flights, and I still had ONE super duper pain reliever I was saving for a crucial moment, if one should arise. Once we got to the airport, I decided to take the Sinutab to relieve some of the pressure in my head. Thankfully I did, however I was feeling rather drugged. The flight into Guatemala City went well. To be honest, all three flights went well – in all of my waking moments that day I just prayed to sleep through each flight like a baby. And so I did.

After three flights and a 1.5 hour ride home on the airbus, it was into the wee hours of the morning when we arrived. I was experiencing a moment that I did not know if I would make it home to see and live through. It was cold. But I was on Canadian land! I knelt down to just touch the ground feeling honored to actually be home. Finally. I had fantasized about this moment for what felt like lifetimes. Of course feeling so close, but not close enough yet, I was entirely eager to get home and hold my little girl in my arms.

Coming in the door at home was a very strange and euphoric homecoming. Everything was totally surreal. My mom was on the main level waiting – not hearing from us since that very first day we arrived in Tikal. They too had a hard time while I was gone, both being very sick with some strange cold/bronchial thing as well. Either way I hugged my mom and tears streamed down my face – they both knew something was not ‘right’ with our trip most of the time we were gone. Relieved, I quickly went upstairs to wake my little angel up and to let her know that her mommy made it home to be with her for Christmas. I could have held her in my arms for an eternity. And maybe I did. I couldn’t even speak. I was so paralyzed with emotion. The only thing I could do was hug her and cry. The very best Christmas gift – EVER.

After getting home, there was still a lot of healing and self nurturing to be done on my part. I was completely frail since I had not eaten much. Some of the teas I had were for kidneys and such so I definitely continued with this. I decided to not see a doctor. I figured if I had lived and come to this point without one, I surely could finish the process on my own. I took ibuprofen to take the edge off of the pain for nearly a couple of months. I worked so thoroughly with all of the emotions that came up. And there were A LOT of them. Smoking, I realize now, quite literally stuffed my emotions so that I wasn’t speaking the true depths of my own Truth – I was barely scratching the surface. I did this for many years. And through this healing process many of my own perceptions, of Self, and of the world, have also changed. They have been uplifted and held to a higher integrity then I could have recognized before making this change and having this experience. Truly so many wonderful things did come from this trip. I am still making better choices for myself and smoking cigarettes is like Ancient History for me. That is HUGE. Any cravings that did come up, I pushed through them all with the focus of this website. Talk about finding something to do to busy your hands! It has definitely been a long process I have gone through – an intense cleansing process, cutting out different foods and substances (salt is no longer an extra food group in my world either!) and allowing my body to really flow again, and to also feel supported. I stopped wearing an underwire bra as a daily staple (for the most part I can honestly say I had a bra addiction – I thought it felt comfortable!) as I now understood how this definitely contributed in clogging my lymphatic system and to some of this sickness I had to move through. And through this experience – allowing this natural cleansing process, I could truly feel and understand what was happening in my body on a very deep level. As I made adjustments I was able to be still long enough to notice my thoughts and perspectives changing as I changed my focus in my life. Witnessing the Universal Laws take effect all around me as I surrendered to this process has only served to strengthen my connection and my faith in the Path that I have chosen.

Do you also have a story to tell? Share it here!

Re-posted from http://www.ayamjourneys.com/#!our-story—tikal/cpch.

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Is This MY Reflection?

There are so many wonderful observations given in this quote below, however, I feel it is largely distorted as a whole explanation. Here are my thoughts to expand upon this foundation that was set up by Doe Zantamata…

karma5

The mirrors are always reflecting both ways where humans are concerned, here in duality. When we talk about single reflections, we are talking about manmade mirrors! Our organic, human mirrors are much more dynamic than this! The “Law of Mirrors” and the Law of Reflection are two very different things, and mixing the two up, or calling them the same thing is dogmatic at the very least. When you hear one side of any story, organically, you are apt to have lapses in knowledge and understanding (and we have had enough GMO haven’t we??). When there is more than one person involved, Truth is only known when both of these sides come together to form a foundation for truth to reside within. Otherwise, it is just dogmatic hearsay based solely upon one person’s beliefs, which is fine, but it’s not Truth. Those stories, or subjective truths, that were once claimed as one’s own truth, evolve and change over time. As our emotional wounds and feelings of victimization begin to heal, the stories we tell ourselves and others also shift and alter. I am not attempting to sit on a pedestal and discount that which has been reflected to me, and for me. I am no different with the stories I have told and healed beyond – it is a human tendency.

The best thing for all of us to do is to look at the reflections in others that we are afraid to see in ourselves. Afterall, it’s the only reason it’s ‘out there‘, acting out in front of us to see it. We must be careful not to project the dark aspects of self that are being mirrored to us solely onto the other to avoid dealing with them in ourselves. To me, this is the essence of self sabotage. The mirrors are there for you as much as you are there for them! Listen keenly and be aware – what is being reflected are aspects of all involved, as the Law of Attraction always brings this truth. Even if we hide it from ourselves, since no matter how hard we try to cover anything up the Universe always knows and reveals. Naturally, Like attracts like. Always. And I am not speaking of what is merely visible to the physical eye. We have sayings like: birds of a feather flock together to gently remind us of this truth. Generally, the reflection that you most want to dismiss as ‘not you’, is your most valuable asset reflecting back to you your own issue that you have hidden from yourself. Now is the time that all is coming to the surface to be healed. We can continue to play smoke and mirrors with ourselves and satiate the collective ego by shifting our awareness away from what really matters, or we can pioneer new pathways and teach our children to empower themselves with a well rounded awareness and self responsibility.

Remember to love and honor your mirrors, even when it is not what you deem to be your pretty side that they are reflecting. Keep in mind that it is always an aspect of you, or it would not be in your awareness. In no way am I suggesting anyone stay in a situation that they are not happy or fulfilled in. Rather, honor it by taking the lesson and becoming better than that which was reflected. Since what you put out IS what you get back, reflect back into your life to a time when perhaps you have made someone else feel this way, or even silently judged someone behind their back. This is how we create true resolution for our Soul. As long as we deny the reflection as our own, we will stay in perpetual cycles of victimization and a lack of love and empathy for your very own True Self. By negating our reflections as Divine and inclusive within our world, the essence of self responsibility and ergo, your own Mastery is lost – somewhere in time.

paradox

We all make our choices, which cause others to make their own choices. We are all responsible for our choices and the effect, or the reflection that they bring back to us. At the end of the day, It’s silly to give your power away by blaming someone else for the effect you created in your own life! Cause and Effect. Be grateful for all of the mirrors that are reflecting to you the truth of which you put out there, somewhere, back in time.

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Stuck? Change ONE Thing!

It’s funny how if we let them, things change over the years. Enjoying the contrast and the dichotomy of who we are now, is even more interesting. As an example of this, in school they taught me to use numbers in Math class, and to use words to tell stories in English class. Of course, I still do this when the necessity arises, however, because of this foundation, I have been able to expand upon my world in ways I would have not really imagined possible way back then in elementary school.

Now I use numbers to tell stories through Mystical Numerology, and I use words with the math I learned back in school! How backwards! But not really. It actually creates a much more whole picture to be able to access Truth in each living moment. My daughter is fascinated by this work I do, and especially with this very magical thing I do with numbers, however for now I have had to deny her request to learn my craft while she creates her own solid foundations in school. There will be a time for all of that! For now, I will share with you!

The solutions we utilize for ourselves in our healing processes do not have to be grandeur by any means. In fact, in my own world, I would say the more accessible it is for everyone to use and easily apply to their lives, the more of a miracle it becomes! Simplicity is where it’s at! Here I would like to share something very basic that came to me to show me just how easy it is to heal ourselves, and our lives. Easy as 1, 2, 3 as some would say! And once you start paying attention to the changes you make and noticing the impact it has on your life, you will want to change much more than ONE thing – guaranteed!

*If you change just ONE of these your life will naturally add up differently!*

Your Perspectives + Your Patterns + Your Cycles = Your Life

storybook

~IG~

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