Tag Archives: Mother-Daughter

A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part III

For your convenience, here are links to: A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part I and A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part II.

I seemed to be well on my way after giving birth to Alecks, yet within only a few years I began to feel dissatisfied with my life. How did this happen? I thought I finally knew what “I” wanted. Who would have thought there were so many layers to me! I was now a mother with a school age daughter; life was full of demands and it seemed to be time to enter back into ‘the real world’ again. Into the workforce – more awake and more aware, but sadly just as stuck. I was macro managing, rather than micro managing. Definitely biting off more than I could chew. I was focused on changing the big things while attempting to ignore the smaller nuances that I have now grown to give so much credence to. Although I was speaking my truth when it really mattered to me in the macro, there were many times that I let things slide if they weren’t completely outrageous in the micro. Quite backwards by my own standards today. We must always keep in mind that it is the little things that count, since that will be the foundation for the bigger things to manifest.

mysticalonionripples

“How do your layers affect you?”

I succumbed to the outside pressure that I needed to fit into a particular role and do what everyone around me has always done. Entrenched in the making of yet another co-created spiral, I could feel myself shutting down. These seemingly small items would build up making me appear petty and irrational as my emotional reserves progressively overflowed. Consciously, I would look at the circumstances and see it was truly not that bad, yet I would feel so robbed and cheated more deeply within. This most definitely was not a logical process that I could think myself through, and I honestly did not make sense to myself. Not understanding this ominous feeling of displeasure lightly dusted with freshly rendezvoused tones of freedom, like a bull in a china shop I forged ahead with the plans I had made for my life. I felt a great panic come over me as once again my true self quickly became a distant memory…

In the autumn of 2009 I got my wake up call. The Universe provided me with a way out of my ongoing turmoil, and I got very sick. Dis-ease has a special way of providing us with new direction. Obviously this was the catalyst I needed. It all began with stomach ulcers – obviously I was not able to stomach my life. Then came cellulitis in my finger, and then bronchitis leading to pneumonia, coinciding with a slew of other phantom symptoms. It was as if my immune system just shut down. My glorious lungs and the grief they have loyally held for me have been my greatest ally in showing me this narrow opening out of my personal hell. Rather than seeking medical intervention, I decided to allow the Universe to decide what was best for me. I chose to allow myself to heal naturally for as long as I could, if I could – not knowing if I would actually make it through. And if anything could go wrong, it did. I had every reason to doubt what I was doing, yet I didn’t. These supposed setbacks actually allowed me to re-establish self trust, showing me that the box others were encouraging me to fit into was most definitely not the path I was meant to walk. And quite literally and metaphorically, I was at a dead end. Knowing this, I was able to revolutionize the path I was on.

I began to work on what I now understand to be one of my main lessons in this incarnation – LETTING GO. Whether I stayed on this planet or left this planet, I now understood that I needed to let go. And that I had a lot to let go of. It was certainly time to Lighten up! My options seemed a little bleak since I hadn’t left myself much leeway at this point. Let go of everything, or let go of everything. For the first time in my life I was left silent, and this allowed me to listen. Not so much to all of those voices around me, but I was still enough to really begin to listen to this powerful presence within. And I was humbled.

distracted

“Life is too short to be distracted by the opinions of others.”

After 4 months of ongoing dis-ease and illness, I was quite weak. Not knowing what was wrong with me, I was able to remain fearlessly grateful for and very conscious of each and every moment I was still alive and breathing. I was learning to live in the moment, rather than for the future. The more I let go, the easier this was, and the healthier I became. In this short time I let go of my job, my relationship, my bills, control over my health or any other perceived worry I had previously entertained – and once again I focused on each second I could spend with my daughter. I left my health in God`s hands and allowed myself to be guided by Love, listening intently for any clues that could pull me deeper into Love. Not surprisingly most of these indicators came through Alecks, and through the feedback from my very own body. And again, I began to focus on Love in each and every moment. In this still weakened state I made a silent vow that I surrendered my life to God or whatever was out there that created me, and all of this. In that moment of testimony I vowed that I would do whatever was best for me to do, for the greatest good of All. Whatever I came here to do, I would do it. And only God could possibly Know what that was at this point. Obviously I did not know what I was doing having squandered my life essence to be in the condition I was in, barely reaching the age of 30. Again, something needed to change. I finally learned to surrender to this invisible force called the Universe. And through this, I was brought face to face with a brand new purpose.

surrender1

“You will be guided from within, at levels beyond your conscious awareness to navigate the depths of some of the experiential rites of passage. The keywords here are trust and surrender.”

ALCHEMY AND ANCESTRAL HEALING

The more I became still, the more I learned just how fluid this reality really was. If I could just find a way to alter my thought processes – especially the well engrained ancestral stories I was living out, I could actually see the nuances in the feedback system to show me how any given belief:

  1. Affected my world
  2. Affected others in my world
  3. Affected my own self,

by the natural reactions I observed. Through this healing process, I could see that after spending so much time alone, just how my thoughts and words would change based on the people that came around me. Imagine my surprise when I realized that I liked myself a lot more when my beloved family was not around me. A startling revelation and a remarkable feedback system that has served as the foundation for so much of my personal philosophy, even before I was aware of the Universal Law and Principles. This was most definitely the beginning of my personal Apocalypse – the revelation of my mystical awakening.

As I played with these new found awareness’, remarkably I began to understand that changing my perspective would also change the story I was telling, allowing my thoughts to morph and shift more readily as well. The test always involved the world out there challenging my own integrity or inner code, much like it did before. This was exceptionally true with regards to my family; those that have been in my life the longest; with those who knew the old me the best. To continue to fit in with the majority of their ideals and the roles I have played for them by aligning with their expectations, ultimately meant I would hold myself back from self love, self acceptance and overall wellness – not being in alignment with my true self.

Rather than remain stalemated with everyone in anger:

  1. For not allowing me to be the new me
  2. For not changing with me
  3. For not making it easier for me to change,

I embraced the challenge I was presented with, and turned it into an opportunity to become something greater than that which I previously was. I used Ho’oponopono and The Law of Forgiveness, and transformed this perceived limitation into something I could be grateful for. FINALLY. This freshly revised attitude allowed me to see that they were all providing me with my measure of growth. They were also teaching me to let go. As I let go, I rose out of the spiral that held me hostage for most of my life. The more they did not understand me, the healthier I became. And with each of these ego modifications came a plethora of options that were not available to me only moments before. Scattered within these options were the same temptations that formerly kept me trapped; using free will to ensure my lessons were being learned. I was truly beginning to see what is meant by a self learning Universe, if one is conscious enough to receive the gifts, rather than begrudge the circumstance that the lesson came through.

My world progressively opened up and quite frankly, I never did look back. Once you Know something, you Know it. There is no un-Knowing it. I was most definitely on a mission now and whatever that might be, I was determined to find it. Over the next year into 2010, I gained strength and healed my ailments through this inner pull that was aligned with the frequency of Love. Love has ultimately lead me through my genetically co-created self destruct program we have labelled as fate, and miraculously to the precise doorway that leads to my Destiny.

BeFunky_mysticlovecarpet.jpg

“Love is my ~magic carpet ride~”

There were definitive moments when I actually saw darkness leave my spectrum of reality and I witnessed a lighter world emerge. I spent many paranoid months feeling like Jim Carrey in my own personal Truman Show. It was as if I was on the inside of an etch-a-sketch and someone or something was giving me that fresh start I was seeking. I saw that there most definitely was ‘GOD’ and that when I am aware of ‘HIM’, ‘HE’ is aware of ‘ME’. Through this ebb and flow we call life, getting to know GOD has allowed me to also know myself better. I know I was made in the image of this GOD, or in the image of this Universe; and that we have been given Universal Laws to easily navigate through the experience of these images and archetypes that we have co-created through programming and free will. I also Know that GOD is truly benevolent, and so am I. At any point we can reset the program and/or add more Love to it. When we Know better, we do better.

If you change the root level story and respond to the synchronicity that it brings you, you will seamlessly change your life. If you do this with the root intention of Love, the outcome will all-ways be benevolent. When you don’t like something, embrace it to make it that and more. A well tuned mystic Knows that alchemy is a tool that allows you the ability to change your story. From apathy to ONEder. Or from lead to gold.

alchemistgold

“You are an alchemist; make gold of that.”

William Shakespeare

Look out for the last installment – A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part IV!

Subscribe or follow this blog to receive new posts and other updates!

~IG~

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part II

For your convenience, here is a link to A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part I.

IN DUALITY, MY STORY CONTINUES…

I became brilliant at hiding these differences and all of the nuances that I perceived, not letting anyone know that anything was out of the ordinary at all. Thankfully there were obvious reminders that I seeded for myself, making it apparent to me no matter how I pretended and tried to forget; rock bottom was not my native homeland. My instinctual Knowing was not a vibrational match to the world I fell into. My co-ordinates were obviously skewed as I continued to spiral.

veiledheart

“A mystic with a veiled heart is like a sailor without a compass.”

Interdimensional Goddess

Feeling much like a mermaid out of water, I remembered another world not so far off and wondered how I could be here in this one, right now. By the time I was in double digits I was praying to whoever was out there that if I was indeed on the wrong planet, to come and retrieve me and to take me to my home. Yes, I was one of those kids that believed in ET’s, and I would often make emotional appeals that I had no idea if anyone was truly listening to. Considering the downward spiral I was stuck in and my fallen status with the Universe, I can only begin to imagine who was receiving these requests! This particular plea preceded a long string of peculiar and baffling health issues that escalated for 15 years until I became pregnant with my daughter. As I stopped taking all of my prescribed medications and refocused myself, my symptoms began to fade out of my life as well. Much of my life circumstances were anything but normal or average within the context of my experiences. And on top of it all I was a female and left handed, yet not artistically and outwardly creative as most imagined I would have been. Perhaps this was all left over karmic debris that nurtured my expanding fears of retribution for playing the role of the infamous other in countless more lifetimes. These well rutted channels of self protection were deeply embedded in my cell structure, seemingly from another time and from another place.

mysticawaken.jpg

“A man may be born, but in order to be born he must first die, and in order to die he must first awake.”

George Gurdjieff

DOWN IN THE DEPTHS OF ROCK BOTTOM

I finally came to a point where I realized that I had to crawl out of the safe confines within the rubble of my own crumbling facade. Through the ongoing emotional turbulence and negative self talk, hell froze over and I was completely numb. Being pregnant with my daughter 9 years ago was just the miracle I needed because in hiding myself from myself, I had forgotten how to love. Quite simply, being pregnant brought love back into my life. And that presence of life and love within was once again sparked and so I was able to re-establish a relationship with my own feelings, and with my own heart. Little did I know that in this process I was unwittingly giving birth to a brand new me also.

Within the first week of Alecksandria’s birth, I understood that this little girl was going to become…just like me!

Uh oh!

Something needed to change – fast – and the onus was on me to embrace it. One thing was for sure, my love for this child far outweighed any amount of medication, programming and conditioning I received. I still find it amazing that I was so willing to poison myself, but not at all willing to poison this child! There was hope for me after all! Because of Alecksandria, I was able to grasp a whole new perspective of life that I was not able to break through previously. She was the catalyst required to inspire me to hang up my well worn victim hat for good. Slowly, as I began to thaw, I consciously chipped away at this archetypal and ancestral static in my DNA. It has required plenty of ongoing TLC to have any success in understanding this abstract process, and to be able to move myself beyond what seemed like never ending cycles of self limitation. I knew I had to change me, or she too would follow in mommy’s well established footsteps and eventually allow herself to be poisoned as well. It was time to empower myself so that I could finally explore what I had been hiding from for so long. Deep within, I knew it was time to let go of my self restricting comfort zone, and all of those years I begrudgingly worked so hard to create this false self — and begin to build anew. This time, instead of hiding my individuality from the world, I fully embraced that THIS is my gift to share.

ANOTHER PARADOX UNVEILED

It is your own perspective (however limited or unlimited it is) that drives your personal experience through action. The gift and inherent curse of duality is: Difference. Focusing on any perceived difference is apt to fuel the formation of judgment. Alchemically speaking, the inherent gift easily transforms into a curse when through judgment we begin over-identifying with either polarity of any given experience for any length of time. Yet, how could we evolve if no one ever allowed their differences to be known? Astrologically speaking, it will be another 26 000 years before another version just like “ME” or just like “YOU” can manifest on this planet! Be YOU Now. The YOUniverse ask nothing more of you! The most harmonious way to collectively achieve this state of difference while simultaneously maintaining oneness, is by focusing on our own uniqueness.

EUREKA!

Most of us didn’t realize that these unauthorized ideas were possible to reach and maintain, much less that they actually existed in our so called modern era. Throughout my life, I never thought of myself as well grounded, however I was well conditioned and did my very best to keep from getting lost in my own ideas, visions and dreams, even though this is what came so naturally to me. I would have never classified myself in this way – as a mystic – even though everything that I have always loved has been tucked away in this elusive realm. Because these ideas were diminished by and clashed with our present reality, I attempted to turn my back on them. In essence this meant that I was turning my back on myself. I endeavored to conform myself to the consensus reality and live that average life that no one bats an eyelash at. However, it always became glaringly clear that this was most definitely NOT ME. It worked well for short stints of time until I ran out of room inside; until I could no longer hide my gross dissatisfaction as I lost touch with who I truly was more and more. Did I want this innocent baby I was admiring to suffer this same fate? Consequently this is the question that flipped my entire world upside down.

Oh yeah, down there at rock bottom, that empty version of me that I was living in the shadow of; that version of me that everyone else was so comfortable with me being; the one I wanted my little girl to be NOTHING like...

phoenixrising

“By being responsible for our own transformation and by taking committed action to live our lives creatively, joyfully and successfully we become the phoenix rising.”

Yes. That one. In order to find my true self, I had to turn my back on her. Her patterns, her cycles, her logic and her way of functioning in this world, while embracing the lessons that she brought to me for so long. That well groomed, man-made, peer pressured version of myself that lived up to the expectations of everyone but that of her own heart – she suffered extensively. I understood deeply that if not for this deeply wounded version of me, I would not be who I am today. In the deed of this socially rebellious act of becoming a phoenix – reinventing my own ego and changing my own story – I had to rise above considerable judgment and incriminating hearsay in order to maintain my own frequency, and therefore my own inherent integrity. As soon as I would explain myself or defend myself in any given situation, I would simultaneously put myself right back into that particular karmic sequence, keeping my own destiny continually at bay. I was making little if any headway in the cosmic scheme of my microcosmic experience and often felt I was going crazy as I began separating myself from this thoroughly programmed life. And for me, there was not a lot of joy to be harvested from that status quo ebb and flow of fear and survival, in the land of the walking dead. As Albert Einstein said, the definition of insanity is: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I did plenty of this throughout my life, and it all needed to fall apart, to come back together.

destinyyou.jpg

Look out for my next installment – A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part III!

Subscribe or follow this blog to receive new posts and other updates!

~IG~

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Human Malware? The Corrupt Coding In Your Genetics

Please read the first installment of this series here: There Is Malware In Mommy!

WHAT EXACTLY IS

Malware?

*I am not a computer expert, I am taking a very generalized idea and allowing myself to flow through what is presented to me, unencumbered*

…short for Malicious Software, it is software used to disrupt computer operation, gather sensitive information, or gain access to private computer systems. It can appear in the form of code, scripts, active content, and other software. ‘Malware’ is a general term used to refer to a variety of forms of hostile or intrusive software. http://www.internetsecurityzone.com/Glossary/Malware

BUT HOW DOES MALWARE RELATE TO HUMANS?

Since we now have an idea about the logistics behind Malware and how it affects our computers, we can also relate ourselves to these logistics relative to computers through The Principle of Correspondence. To the sleeping Mystic I know it appears that I am comparing apples and oranges. Yet I will say that these manifestations that appear to be different on the outside, are actually from the same core blueprint. Maybe without having such an emotional attachment to our computers as we do to our own physical bodies, we have created a replica of ourselves to study. In a holographic reality, this is entirely probable.

Our bodies and the programs we run are quite similar to the idea of computers. And we have an affect on our computers since we feed them with our energy every single day! I would go so far to say that computers were built upon human technology. And so if Malware exists in computers, I can only surmise that Malware exists in us as well. Only in recognizing this parallel are we able to do anything about it. Otherwise we unconsciously replicate our own patterns, for better or worse.

computerman1malwarehuman.jpg

“Subconsciously, could humans have created computers to investigate their own defects and evolutionary malfunctions?”

Through “Windows” we have been able to explore so much corruption – virus’, worms, trojans and other Malware, along with the effect it has on us personally and collectively. Did Bill Gates create “Windows” to show us the corruption in our own souls, and to give us a chance to get to know our shadow without being too emotionally attached to what we found? Through “Apple” we have had a much more stable system Steve Jobs will have contributed to the stability of our future through his technology and superior coding. I truly wonder which collective he was channeling, in the cosmic scheme of things. Perhaps we should go back to basics and remember these little catch phrases like: an apple a day keeps the doctor away. It seems that the vibration of “Apple” does not play in the same field as the virus. Just sayin’!

Today I am sitting in front of my laptop looking through a few links and a video catches my eye and eventually pulls me in. I began listening to it while I checked my email. A few minutes later, I hear something that shifted me. I go back and listen to it again. Yes! This is what I was waiting for since writing my last article There Is Malware In Mommy! Confirmation. (At the end of this article I will post a link to this particular video. It is a long video, so I am extracting the small part that struck me so deeply.)
babylon
“Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

Genesis 11:7

Does this bible quote support the theory that humanity was infected with bad coding or Malware, meant to corrupt each other? Is our use of slang and the breakdown in communication a seed that was planted in humanity as far back as Babylon? Is our collective lack of effective communication a root level program that was implanted so long ago?
I Know that we are a micro of the macro. I Know that how I parent came from a whole lineage of parents. I also Know that this lineage of parents mirror how our cosmic parents have parented us, and so on. Perhaps there are slight differences along the way, but the root program will be the same unless you consciously make change through greater awareness and inspired action. Otherwise, we will unconsciously repeat what has been done to us, and perpetuate this test of entrapment. A form of Human Malware corruption may manifest as the inability to accept guidance from our children, as pointed out in the first installment of this “Malware” series. Another form of Malware may mutate in a way that does not allow a parent and child to communicate harmoniously, never quite seeing eye to eye. Over time, as both the parent and child Polarize to opposite spectrums of experience, could this very well contribute to the inner workings of the infamous generation gap we are all familiar with? And once the polarities are well established, what does that mean for the next generation? Or the one after that? I would think that it would open to a wider gamut of experience, allowing a greater and more balanced Truth to be lived, by our future ancestors.

 eyetoeyemalware.jpg
“Are You Seeing Eye To Eye?”

Generation Gap

a lack of communication between one generation and another, especially between young people and their parents, brought about by differences of tastes, values, outlook, etc.

Microcosmically, we will find this corruption in the actual structure of our very own DNA. Macrocosmically, our awareness resides within the sun and stars. Conceivably this may be our collective moment in Time where we have fallen from Grace; when we began giving our energy to words and ideas devoid of true depth and meaning; the moment we were maneuvered to choose and experience something other than a heart based reality for ourselves. Is this the moment that we became more focused on the outside clamor, rather than on our Divine status as intermediaries between Heaven and Earth? The onus is now on us to become the anti virus and to clean up our own coding when we notice our own discrepancies. If humans are able to do this through air tight ego and fear programming, just imagine what computers are capable of!

Please subscribe or follow my blog to receive new posts and other updates!

~IG~

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

There Is Malware In Mommy!

WHERE DO THESE CRAZY IDEAS COME FROM?

Let me begin with a little story, only it begins in the Here and Now rather than Once Upon a Time…

inspiredchildmalware.jpg“Allow yourself to be Inspired by a Child!”

BEST SNOW DAY EVER
Tuesday January 7, 2014
Whenever I require a boost in my creativity or a shift in my focus, my very own Earth Angel aka Alecksandria is impulsed to serve as my muse. If I am willing to surrender my ego and allow myself to be led by my child, I am always left with some kind of life altering awareness. In this particular circumstance Alecks came to me asking if she could play a free video game online. She padded her request by telling me that it was called “Legend of Angels”, knowing I would resonate with the theme. I felt through her request and something felt off to me. I told her I didn’t really think it was great and it most likely had a virus attached to it. She was clearly disappointed. I went to check it out for myself as I allowed myself to sit with her suggestion a bit longer, and it struck me that it was not necessarily a virus but that it perhaps had Malware of some sort. Now piqued by this new information, Alecks looked at me with her big eyes and innocently asked me, “Mommy, what is Malware?” In this moment, I was able to simplify the idea of Malware down to the idea of computer language. I explained how some programs speak a bit of slang, and maybe have a few ‘bad words’ that it would teach her computer as it communicated with the program. It would likely not be detected until her computer tried to speak to a program that had a cleaner language, and then it may cause lagging or looping to occur as they are not able to connect messages as clearly as they were before Malware was introduced to the system. Mind boggling concepts for an 8 year old no doubt. She was letting this new information sink in, and so was I. Suddenly, I felt my heart begin to glow warmly, and I was inspired to expand further. Now comes the moment for my lesson to be revealed!
For those of you who do not know me personally, I am a freedom loving kind of lady! And very into open and honest self expression. Authenticity is the name of my game! However, in this moment the most Truthful thing I knew I had to do, was to use myself as a perfect example of: Malware!
There have been times that just by the process of association, like anyone else, I have picked up some language that is not necessarily impeccable. I now realize that this has created a huge distortion in my vibration. It may even have been enough to keep me from reaching the heights of my full positive potential. I readily admit that I have also impacted others in perpetuating improper and less than impeccable use of language. Using any kind of slang is an interesting concept. It is alluring mostly because not everyone partakes, and it allows us to feel passionate in new ways. We must remember that here in duality, with good also comes bad. And using lower frequency words definitely gives duality an unspoken stronghold over your life. Giving into this intrigue created a distortion in the expression of my own Truth and this did not allow me to retain the ability to communicate as clearly, or as effectively. It is the higher frequencies we choose to maintain in between the actions we take that allows us to experience more flow and synchronicity in our lives.
As I confessed to my little one that mommy has surely contributed to corrupting her with a form of Malware, and that this was going to change ~ her stance relaxed and in that moment she understood all that I was inspired to convey to her. The Holy Instant. Satisfied with our conversation and releasing all resistance to not getting what she initially wanted, she asked me to help her get ready to go outside and play in the snow. THE END.
witness
A WITNESS TO MY OWN HEALING PROCESS
I would consider this conversation with Alecks to be somewhat out of the ordinary. I Know her energy and being born on the 11th day of the month, she came to this planet to Serve as a gateway for illumination. Adding to the day of her entry, she was given a name that naturally vibrates to the libraries of Alexandria, Egypt. Her essence oozes with this wisdom, yet a child’s delicate ego is in between. Needless to say, when these moments arise – I am keen to listen. And this is always my clue to really tune in and pay attention. In my own healing processes that I have developed, I Know that when I allow myself to be aware of my own shadow and actually embrace it rather than hide myself from myself, I take a giant leap in the process of my evolution. Through my understanding of Universal Law, I Know that as I remove my own resistance my world will shift to provide me with clues. What was hidden will begin to appear. The onus is on me to notice. When I am aware, I can not only Know better, but I am also able to do better ~ if I am willing to accept ALL of myself! In creating my foundation based on Universal Law, Divine Timing is free to flow in the same stream with man made time, allowing the magic of synchronicity to readily blossom before my very eyes. In this instance, I have consciously become the cause of an uplifted effect that is now activated to reveal itself to me. (Read more about Causation and how to personally develop it in your life!) As I excitedly embrace this new opportunity to witness and co-create my own growth, I immerse myself in a bit of research to open more pathways of awareness based on what I have just been presented with.
Subscribe or follow my blog to receive the next installment in this series titled:
~IG~
Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Life Lessons with The Little One

If you are so busy faking something, you will never actually do it, You will just give off the illusion of doing it. Your intention and ultimate action to do something activates that vibration in the Universe to pull the experience of actually achieving it, into your Reality.

And then, instead of puckering her lips and making a high pitch shrieking noise ~ she finally learned to whistle.

cosmiceye

Tagged , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: