Tag Archives: Mystic

A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part II

For your convenience, here is a link to A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part I.

IN DUALITY, MY STORY CONTINUES…

I became brilliant at hiding these differences and all of the nuances that I perceived, not letting anyone know that anything was out of the ordinary at all. Thankfully there were obvious reminders that I seeded for myself, making it apparent to me no matter how I pretended and tried to forget; rock bottom was not my native homeland. My instinctual Knowing was not a vibrational match to the world I fell into. My co-ordinates were obviously skewed as I continued to spiral.

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“A mystic with a veiled heart is like a sailor without a compass.”

Interdimensional Goddess

Feeling much like a mermaid out of water, I remembered another world not so far off and wondered how I could be here in this one, right now. By the time I was in double digits I was praying to whoever was out there that if I was indeed on the wrong planet, to come and retrieve me and to take me to my home. Yes, I was one of those kids that believed in ET’s, and I would often make emotional appeals that I had no idea if anyone was truly listening to. Considering the downward spiral I was stuck in and my fallen status with the Universe, I can only begin to imagine who was receiving these requests! This particular plea preceded a long string of peculiar and baffling health issues that escalated for 15 years until I became pregnant with my daughter. As I stopped taking all of my prescribed medications and refocused myself, my symptoms began to fade out of my life as well. Much of my life circumstances were anything but normal or average within the context of my experiences. And on top of it all I was a female and left handed, yet not artistically and outwardly creative as most imagined I would have been. Perhaps this was all left over karmic debris that nurtured my expanding fears of retribution for playing the role of the infamous other in countless more lifetimes. These well rutted channels of self protection were deeply embedded in my cell structure, seemingly from another time and from another place.

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“A man may be born, but in order to be born he must first die, and in order to die he must first awake.”

George Gurdjieff

DOWN IN THE DEPTHS OF ROCK BOTTOM

I finally came to a point where I realized that I had to crawl out of the safe confines within the rubble of my own crumbling facade. Through the ongoing emotional turbulence and negative self talk, hell froze over and I was completely numb. Being pregnant with my daughter 9 years ago was just the miracle I needed because in hiding myself from myself, I had forgotten how to love. Quite simply, being pregnant brought love back into my life. And that presence of life and love within was once again sparked and so I was able to re-establish a relationship with my own feelings, and with my own heart. Little did I know that in this process I was unwittingly giving birth to a brand new me also.

Within the first week of Alecksandria’s birth, I understood that this little girl was going to become…just like me!

Uh oh!

Something needed to change – fast – and the onus was on me to embrace it. One thing was for sure, my love for this child far outweighed any amount of medication, programming and conditioning I received. I still find it amazing that I was so willing to poison myself, but not at all willing to poison this child! There was hope for me after all! Because of Alecksandria, I was able to grasp a whole new perspective of life that I was not able to break through previously. She was the catalyst required to inspire me to hang up my well worn victim hat for good. Slowly, as I began to thaw, I consciously chipped away at this archetypal and ancestral static in my DNA. It has required plenty of ongoing TLC to have any success in understanding this abstract process, and to be able to move myself beyond what seemed like never ending cycles of self limitation. I knew I had to change me, or she too would follow in mommy’s well established footsteps and eventually allow herself to be poisoned as well. It was time to empower myself so that I could finally explore what I had been hiding from for so long. Deep within, I knew it was time to let go of my self restricting comfort zone, and all of those years I begrudgingly worked so hard to create this false self — and begin to build anew. This time, instead of hiding my individuality from the world, I fully embraced that THIS is my gift to share.

ANOTHER PARADOX UNVEILED

It is your own perspective (however limited or unlimited it is) that drives your personal experience through action. The gift and inherent curse of duality is: Difference. Focusing on any perceived difference is apt to fuel the formation of judgment. Alchemically speaking, the inherent gift easily transforms into a curse when through judgment we begin over-identifying with either polarity of any given experience for any length of time. Yet, how could we evolve if no one ever allowed their differences to be known? Astrologically speaking, it will be another 26 000 years before another version just like “ME” or just like “YOU” can manifest on this planet! Be YOU Now. The YOUniverse ask nothing more of you! The most harmonious way to collectively achieve this state of difference while simultaneously maintaining oneness, is by focusing on our own uniqueness.

EUREKA!

Most of us didn’t realize that these unauthorized ideas were possible to reach and maintain, much less that they actually existed in our so called modern era. Throughout my life, I never thought of myself as well grounded, however I was well conditioned and did my very best to keep from getting lost in my own ideas, visions and dreams, even though this is what came so naturally to me. I would have never classified myself in this way – as a mystic – even though everything that I have always loved has been tucked away in this elusive realm. Because these ideas were diminished by and clashed with our present reality, I attempted to turn my back on them. In essence this meant that I was turning my back on myself. I endeavored to conform myself to the consensus reality and live that average life that no one bats an eyelash at. However, it always became glaringly clear that this was most definitely NOT ME. It worked well for short stints of time until I ran out of room inside; until I could no longer hide my gross dissatisfaction as I lost touch with who I truly was more and more. Did I want this innocent baby I was admiring to suffer this same fate? Consequently this is the question that flipped my entire world upside down.

Oh yeah, down there at rock bottom, that empty version of me that I was living in the shadow of; that version of me that everyone else was so comfortable with me being; the one I wanted my little girl to be NOTHING like...

phoenixrising

“By being responsible for our own transformation and by taking committed action to live our lives creatively, joyfully and successfully we become the phoenix rising.”

Yes. That one. In order to find my true self, I had to turn my back on her. Her patterns, her cycles, her logic and her way of functioning in this world, while embracing the lessons that she brought to me for so long. That well groomed, man-made, peer pressured version of myself that lived up to the expectations of everyone but that of her own heart – she suffered extensively. I understood deeply that if not for this deeply wounded version of me, I would not be who I am today. In the deed of this socially rebellious act of becoming a phoenix – reinventing my own ego and changing my own story – I had to rise above considerable judgment and incriminating hearsay in order to maintain my own frequency, and therefore my own inherent integrity. As soon as I would explain myself or defend myself in any given situation, I would simultaneously put myself right back into that particular karmic sequence, keeping my own destiny continually at bay. I was making little if any headway in the cosmic scheme of my microcosmic experience and often felt I was going crazy as I began separating myself from this thoroughly programmed life. And for me, there was not a lot of joy to be harvested from that status quo ebb and flow of fear and survival, in the land of the walking dead. As Albert Einstein said, the definition of insanity is: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I did plenty of this throughout my life, and it all needed to fall apart, to come back together.

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Look out for my next installment – A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part III!

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~IG~

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A Sleeping Mystic Awakens Part I

WHAT IS A MYSTIC?

Mystics are sci­en­tists of their own inherent divinity. Those who consciously experience the subtleties of the world within, before it is pro­jected outward and lived through in this physical realm, without. Since a mystic realizes that there is much more to real­ity than what is captured by the phys­i­cal eyes and through the intel­lect alone, it allows one to be open to long buried ideas such as the Universal Laws and Principles. The entirety of life and of the uni­verse at large is regarded as a mys­tery to be unrav­eled, from the micro to the macro, its inherent value is at the root of the mystical experience. The mystic seeks Truth through contemplation and self surrender in order to attain unity within, and so with all things, while remaining aligned with one’s own unique integrity or inner code. To be a mystic is to walk the line, and to live a paradoxical life.

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“Are You A Mystic?”

A mystic tends to look at ordinary things as manifestations of a miraculous and infinite source of wisdom. How can this be true? When you become more consciously aware of Universal Laws and Principles, you will naturally become multidimensional. This means that you will experience every single thing from many vantages at once. How else can we speed up our evolution without outrageously over-extending our life expectancy? The more you focus your intention, attention and therefore your energy in this direction, the more wisdom you will reap. Do yourself a favor and Discover More! If you spend as little as 30 days authentically focusing yourself on this root knowledge, your life will freely reorganize itself. As you surrender to this path and allow your life to inevitably fall apart, you can empower yourself to see through real-eyes, and realize that this too has only been a frozen and illusory perspective. In fact, you can choose to have the exalting experience of: your life falling together! Witness the world from your higher self’s perspective! Imagine now that you are able to actually lift yourself up by seeing through the single eye of your higher self in the peak of your subjective experience.

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“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”

Rumi

When you live in your authentic Truth, plugged into and in flow with the Universe, you have a certain Omni access to the BIG PICTURE. You become the eye of the storm. From this vantage, what is it that you really want to focus on?

UNVEILING THE SLEEPING MYSTIC

I realize only now at the tender age of 35, that I was indeed born a mystic. And to some degree or another, right now we have an entire planet of sleeping mystics. The only way another can ever tell you that you are a mystic is if they bring you through a series of awakenings or initiations designed to tune you into ‘non-local’ realms of existence. Otherwise, I don’t feel that anyone can truly know this to be true but you, yourself. And consequently no one can give you this title, but you. On some level you must recognize this for yourself first and set yourself outside the norm of the collective that you are immersed within, for another to be able to do the same to you, and for you. Silently within, the wheels are set into motion when you give another permission to come into your reality to bring you an opportunity for a co-creative experience together. According to Universal Law, As Within, So Without. When you are truly ready to consciously and intentionally live through this supernatural reality, someone from the outside world will come upon you through the Law of Attraction to honor your vibrational request for the experience that you have lined up with.

teacher“Teachers open the door but you must walk through it yourself.”

YET, WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO WAIT FOR PERMISSION

As they say, when you are ready, the teacher will appear – for those with the eyes to see and the ears to hear. It is always up to you to walk through this door, or to walk away. This is the double edged sword of free will, with our ego squarely in the driver’s seat. And it seems that home to the ego is actually focused in the opposite direction to the home of the higher self! Now that was a novel idea for a collective experience of limitation! So depending on whether you are in your ego mind, or in your divine mind, dictates how you perceive each idea and experience of life in any given moment, giving way to the paradigm of good and bad that so many people are stuck in. There is no right or wrong answer, there is only the Right answer – for you. This exhibits an example of the funny little paradoxes that befall us as we make our way through the structures and systems that were set up to foster and support our collective development. Those safe and familiar paradigms that we have clung to actually house the belief systems that we feel stagnated and limited by, as we ready ourselves for the individuation of our authentic self in physical form.

As a young child, empathic and pretty awake amid a sleeping world, I sensed this differentiation between my true desires and what the world deemed acceptable, and I hid the things that did not meet other people’s standards. I always associated this with shame, which may have been true to me at the time. Yet, this is merely a child’s perspective. I now see a deeper reality where it was out of self perseverance that I felt any shame at all. From this perspective I have now, a God send really. If I was in an unaccepting reality, instinctively and quite naturally I would recoil myself from a psychically toxic and polluted world. I would naturally hide this ever so delicate and most real aspect of myself safely beneath the empty mask of acceptable societal virtue, while simultaneously shielding myself using a false veneer to become that which was not natural at all. I was caught in a vicious cycle, lacking any conscious reference for how to get out of it. I will refer to this experience as being caught in a downward spiral. Living my life this way left me not only perpetually tired and spiritually numb, but it also created the eventual manifestation of a personal deadness towards life, leading into yet greater expressions of emotional and bodily dis-ease. Surely, I believed that it would never be safe enough to be me as I gingerly spiraled down to my new home called rock bottom.

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“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

J.K. Rowling

The next post in this series will be titled A SLEEPING MYSTIC AWAKENS PART II

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~IG~

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